


i'm good (as long as you're here with me)

by redexo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Living Together, Mutual Pining, and doesn't know how to deal, chaeyoung has lots of feelings, currently working on an epilogue from tzuyu's point of view
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-07-29 19:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redexo/pseuds/redexo
Summary: Dahyun stares at her for a long time, and then she nods. "Okay, I'll try and help you." She grabs her phone and starts to type something. "Grab a paper and a pen."Chaeyoung is slightly suspicious but obliges anyway.After a minute, Dahyun seems to find what she wants and fixes her gaze on Chaeyoung through the monitor. "How to stop liking your crush in 6 steps. With pictures."Chaeyoung groans and resists the urge to hang up. "Are you serious?""Deadly." Dahyun cracks her knuckles. "Get ready to take notes."-Chaeyoung and Tzuyu decide to rent an apartment together.





	1. Chapter 1

"This is a bad idea," Dahyun tells her immediately.

Chaeyoung frowns at the quick response. "I haven't even finished telling you the plan!"

"You wanna get an apartment with Tzuyu." Dahyun's looking at her like she's crazy, and Chaeyoung is pretty sure they've switched roles. It's usually her doing the judging at whatever idiotic thing Dahyun does. Chaeyoung doesn't really like being on the receiving end of the look.

"What's wrong with that?"

Personally, Chaeyoung thinks it's a great idea. She and Tzuyu have been best friends for years now. They're both attending University of Seoul, and the apartments in Seoul are ridiculously expensive.

The obvious answer is to rent an apartment with each other.

Chaeyoung doesn't see why Dahyun thinks it's such a big deal. Everyone in their little group is already doing it. Jihyo and Dahyun, who both go to Seoul National University, share one. Jeongyeon and Nayeon also have one together, since Nayeon made Jeongyeon swear to her when they were eight to live together. Mina, Sana, and Momo all live together, despite going to three different universities around Seoul.

It's practically inevitable she and Tzuyu will live together.

"Tzuyu," Dahyun repeats and flails her arms around to emphasize her point. "Chou Tzuyu, who you've been in love with since you were sixteen! Probably even younger!"

"Yah, unnie!" Chaeyoung leans over to hit Dahyun in the shoulder. "That was three years ago. I'm completely over her now."

Dahyun gives her a look, meaning she doesn't believe a word of what Chaeyoung is saying.

"I'm serious," Chaeyoung says. They were best friends first and foremost, and that's all they were as far as she was concerned. Three years is plenty of time for feelings to fade.

Dahyun just raises her eyebrows. "Do you remember when Tzuyu dated Mingyu?"

Chaeyoung grimaces. "Did you really have to bring that up."

"I'm just saying, Tzuyu dated Mingyu for a month and you got all sad and mopey. What's gonna happen when Tzuyu brings a guy home? You're gonna get all sad and mopey again, but this time, you can't even try to avoid her because you _ live _together!"

Chaeyoung shakes her head. "That would only happen if I still had feelings for Tzuyu." She glares at Dahyun. "Which I don't."

Dahyun sighs and dramatically throws her hands up in the air from her spot on the couch. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Chaeyoung just rolls her eyes at her friend's antics. It'll be great. She'll be living with her best friend and attending one of the best universities in Seoul. And she most definitely did not have feelings for Tzuyu, so everything Dahyun just said won't happen. She'll be fine.

//

"So we should probably go apartment hunting, right?" Chaeyoung asks. They're on the couch watching a drama, and Chaeyoung is snuggled into Tzuyu's side because her house is freezing and Tzuyu is a human heater.

"If we don't want to live on the streets, then probably," Tzuyu responds dryly and Chaeyoung flicks her nose. She pouts at Chaeyoung before pausing the drama. "I've actually found some places we can look at this weekend."

She pulls them up on her laptop, and Chaeyoung is impressed by the younger girl's organization. The apartments all seem nice from the pictures, are in their budget, and close to the university.

"Sounds good." Chaeyoung tangles her fingers together in thanks, ignoring the way her heart speeds up.

It was probably from the excitement of buying apartments anyway.

//

They find the apartment a ten minute walk away from the university. It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a room that's half the kitchen and half the living room. As soon as they walked in, Tzuyu had smiled brightly, her dimple making an appearance and everything. It's fairly small, but they didn't need much room anyway.

When Chaeyoung saw that smile, she knew she'd get the apartment too just because Tzuyu loved it.

Dahyun would call her whipped. Chaeyoung would just say everyone who has ever met Tzuyu is whipped for her, and she isn't wrong. There's just something about Tzuyu that makes people want to do anything for her.

With that smile, Tzuyu could probably take over the world.

The two sign the lease, and when Chaeyoung sees their names side by side, she feels her heart skip a beat.

She's totally fine. She's just excited to have found such a nice place without too much of a hassle.

//

They start moving in the week after. They had their friends help them move all their things, which wasn't much, and repaid them in pizza. Nayeon had cried twice about the two youngest being all grown up, and Momo almost fell down the steps, but they made it out without any terrible injuries, so Chaeyoung considers it a win.

Once everyone leaves, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu stand in the middle of the apartment, taking it all in. Chaeyoung feels more content than she has all summer, standing here with Tzuyu in their new home.

She kinda loves the feeling.

Chaeyoung rests her head on Tzuyu's shoulder. She feels great but a certain element is missing. The apartment didn't feel personal yet. She looks at the bare walls and empty rooms, frowning and imagining what she wants to put everywhere. "Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?"

"Sure. Tomorrow," Tzuyu murmurs, grabbing Chaeyoung's hand. Chaeyoung is pretty sure she almost has a heart attack when she realizes Tzuyu's leading them to her room.

"Tzuyu-ya," she says and tilts her head in the direction of her own room.

Tzuyu drops her hand quickly. "Sorry. Force of habit, I guess."

They always sleep in each other's rooms when they have sleepovers. Chaeyoung guesses Tzuyu was a bit drunk and forgot Chaeyoung now has her own room right next to Tzuyu's.

While she's brushing her teeth, she realizes Tzuyu didn't drink tonight. She rarely drinks at all because she's not too fond of the taste of alcohol, nor the feeling it gives her. Chaeyoung remembers when they were younger, Tzuyu couldn't sleep without a night light and her stuffed puppy.

She frowns and puts on her pajamas. It's completely dark and silent, and Chaeyoung is outside Tzuyu's door, debating with herself. They sleep in the same bed all the time, but then again, they've never had the choice of sleeping in their respective beds during a sleepover. Is it weird if Chaeyoung sleeps in Tzuyu's bed if her own bed is only a ten second walk away?

The thought of Tzuyu laying on her bed, unable to fall asleep because she doesn't adjust to new places quickly, spurs Chaeyoung on. She opens the door to Tzuyu's room quietly and tiptoes to her bed. After a moment, Tzuyu scoots over to make room for Chaeyoung to slip under the covers.

Chaeyoung lets the silence drag on for a bit before saying, "You can always tell me when you're uncomfortable, Tzuyu."

She's not sure if she's referring to Tzuyu's reluctance to ask Chaeyoung to sleep with her, or the possibility that Tzuyu thinks it's weird Chaeyoung chose to sleep with her when her bed is one wall over.

"I know," Tzuyu says and holds her hand up.

Chaeyoung smiles and laces their fingers together. Soon, Tzuyu's breath evens out, and Chaeyoung is left listening to the soft snores of her best friend. She sighs and closes her eyes.

If Tzuyu is the last thing on her mind before she falls asleep, no one needs to know.

//

School doesn't start for another week, and Chaeyoung is grateful. She's pretty sure if she had to deal with calculus problems while also learning to live with Tzuyu, her brain would explode.

Tzuyu learned how to use the coffee maker when they moved in, a gift courtesy of her parents. So everyday, Chaeyoung has been waking up to the smell of coffee and a fresh pot waiting for her. It was a nice little routine they had created. Tzuyu would wake up and go on a jog, then arrive back home and make coffee before Chaeyoung woke up, then hop in the shower. They'd go out to eat sometimes, other times, they'd just make some ramen.

Yes, they know it's unhealthy to eat ramen for breakfast, but they were college kids. They didn't have the luxury of being healthy.

Chaeyoung doesn't think anything would be different today. She yawns and pads out of her room, rubbing her eyes. She figures Tzuyu already took a shower since she didn't hear the water running.

She didn't expect to see Tzuyu at the stove wearing an oversized t-shirt and some extremely short shorts from her dancing days. Chaeyoung trips over literally nothing, alerting Tzuyu to her presence.

"Hey, Chaeng," she says and flashes her usual grin, nearly making Chaeyoung trip over air again.

"Morning," she gets out and heads straight for the coffee pot. Maybe if she has some caffeine, she'll be able to walk normally. She takes a quick sip and scalds her tongue, but at least it's a distraction from Tzuyu. She swallows thickly. "Did you jog this morning?"

"No, I wanted to try making pancakes." She holds up the box of pancake mix they spontaneously bought while grocery shopping a few days ago. They figured ramen wasn't the only thing they should eat for breakfast.

"Sounds good. How far did you get?"

Tzuyu blushes and looks down. That means she didn't start yet. Chaeyoung stifles her laughter at the cute reaction and pushes off the counter to stand next to Tzuyu. She peeks at the box in Tzuyu's hand, praying to God there's some type of instructions on how to cook pancakes.

"Mix water and pancake mix, then put on a skillet," Chaeyoung reads. It seems easy enough. Tzuyu is already a step ahead of her. She already got a bowl, and she's measuring out the water now.

"Do you remember when we tried to make kimchi?" Tzuyu asks her as Chaeyoung stirs the mix and water together.

Chaeyoung laughs brightly. "How could I forget? I'll always remember you crying because you thought I was going to die."

"We were thirteen and you literally told me you were dying! What was I supposed to think?"

Chaeyoung smiles at the memory as she pours the mix into the skillet. She and Tzuyu had never really cooked anything, and they thought kimchi would be the best place to start since Jihyo was always talking about making it. They were dumb though and tried to make it using the vague information they had learned from watching their parents make it. Needless to say, it didn't turn out well.

The kitchen was a huge mess by the time Chaeyoung's parents arrived home, and Tzuyu was crying because Chaeyoung was gagging after she tried some of their kimchi. Poor Tzuyu really thought she killed her.

"Well, it was at that moment I realized you actually liked me and weren't just keeping me around so I could help you with Korean," Chaeyoung teases.

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "Of course I liked you. You were so nice when I transferred here. I barely knew any Korean, yet you still talked to me everyday and invited me to sit with you and Dahyun." She comes up behind Chaeyoung and hugs her. "You were my first friend in Korea."

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath, and all she can focus on is Tzuyu. The way her arms were wrapped loosely around Chaeyoung's waist, or that she still smells like the same subtle perfume she's had for as long as Chaeyoung has known her, or how she's leaning forward over Chaeyoung's shoulder and if Chaeyoung turns her head, she'd probably kiss Tzuyu's cheek.

Tzuyu could easily do the same and Chaeyoung thinks if Tzuyu kisses her cheek, she'll combust on the spot. Wait, why is Tzuyu turning towards her. She's not ready for-

"I think your pancake is burning."

Chaeyoung jerks away from Tzuyu and yelps. Even she can tell her pancake is burnt, which is saying a lot. She flips it quickly and groans at the completely black side of the pancake. She had one job and she got distracted.

Tzuyu laughs at her pout and pokes Chaeyoung's dimple softly. "It's okay, Chaeng. We have plenty of batter."

Chaeyoung sighs dramatically. She's seriously regretting her choice to try cooking again. She's good at making ramen, maybe she should just stick with that. She wonders if it's too late to start boiling some.

Tzuyu holds her hand out, and Chaeyoung feels like she's waving the white flag of surrender when she hands over the spatula. It wasn't even her fault, it's all Chou Tzuyu's fault. Why does she have to be so distracting all the time?

She's staring mournfully at her half burnt pancake, preparing to douse it in syrup to cover up the singed taste, when another plate with more pancakes slides towards Chaeyoung. She looks up to see Tzuyu staring at her with a small smile.

Of course she'd make pancakes perfectly the first time, and of course she'd give them to Chaeyoung. Tzuyu's too good for this world.

"Tzuyu-ya, you should eat these since you made them. I can try making pancakes again."

Tzuyu looks at her, unimpressed. "I don't want the apartment to burn down, we've only had it for a few weeks."

Chaeyoung takes it all back. Tzuyu is evil.

Evil or not, she cooked up some delicious pancakes. Chaeyoung had forgotten how good not-ramen food is. She's not cut out for cooking, but maybe Tzuyu is.

The thought of coming home to Tzuyu cooking them dinner is so domestic that it makes her chest physically ache. Chaeyoung glances at Tzuyu and even when she's barefaced and has on the round glasses she only wears inside the house, she's beautiful.

Tzuyu notices Chaeyoung staring and looks up with a smile. "What?"

"Nothing. You just look really pretty right now."

Tzuyu blushes and thanks Chaeyoung, and Chaeyoung realizes that she needs to call Dahyun as soon as possible.

She needs help.

//

Chaeyoung has to wait for Tzuyu to be in class before she calls Dahyun. The second the door shuts, she rushes to her room and FaceTimes Dahyun on her laptop.

"Don't say I told you so."

Dahyun squints at her from the screen of her laptop. "You still like her."

Chaeyoung is grateful for the lack of teasing. Dahyun probably knows how conflicted she feels right now and despite her humorous personality, she's able to take things seriously when need be.

She's also glad Dahyun didn't use the word 'love' like before. Chaeyoung wouldn't go as far as to call it love. It's a small crush. Tzuyu's just unfairly pretty and kind and smart and…

Chaeyoung cuts off her line of thoughts. The point is, it's nothing serious. It's easy to fall for your best friend, especially if they're someone like Chou Tzuyu. It has nothing to do with the fact that Chaeyoung was smitten with Tzuyu when she was sixteen and seventeen.

She tells all this to Dahyun, who doesn't comment for a long time.

"Have you ever considered the possibility Tzuyu likes you too?"

If Dahyun were next to her, Chaeyoung would've hit her for even suggesting that. "Stop joking around and help me figure out ways to stop having a crush on my best friend and _ roommate." _

"I'm serious, Chaeng." She holds up a hand to stop Chaeyoung from interrupting. "You've never seen the way she looks at you."

Chaeyoung scoffs. "She looks at everyone like that. Did you ever see her heart eyes with Mingyu?"

"And the way she acts?" Dahyun presses on. "She willingly hugs you and holds your hand. She even initiates it. You've seen what she does to Nayeon sometimes, right? Tzuyu completely stiff-arms her."

"Because it's Nayeon. Everyone does that to her. Even Jeongyeon, and they're practically married."

"And she even flirts with you! Do you remember when we said where we wanted to go and she said 'your heart' to you? Do you? Because I do."

Chaeyoung winces. That was not her best moment. Little Chaeyoung had just put into words what she was feeling for Tzuyu and had a gay panic when Tzuyu said that. So when Tzuyu asked her where she wanted to go, she responded with waterpark. Tzuyu had pouted at her for the rest of the night, and Chaeyoung is embarrassed just thinking about it.

"Chaeyoung-ah." Dahyun is completely serious now. "Is it really that far-fetched to think your feelings aren't one-sided?"

Chaeyoung doesn't even want to think about that. Tzuyu could probably have anyone she wanted at this university. There's so many options here, why would she choose Chaeyoung over all of them? It just wouldn't happen.

And if Chaeyoung did entertain the idea, she'd probably do something like confess to Tzuyu and then their eight years of friendship would be over like that. Chaeyoung couldn't risk not having Tzuyu in her life at all.

It was just a simple crush. She could get over it, then she can go back to being Tzuyu's best friend without wondering every other minute what it'd be like to kiss her.

"Dahyun-unnie." She pulls the unnie card to let Dahyun know how serious she felt about this. "Please, just help me try and get over this dumb crush."

Dahyun stares at her for a long time, and then she nods. "Okay, I'll try and help you." She grabs her phone and starts to type something. "Grab a paper and a pen."

Chaeyoung is slightly suspicious but obliges anyway.

After a minute, Dahyun seems to find what she wants and fixes her gaze on Chaeyoung through the monitor. "How to stop liking your crush in 6 steps. With pictures."

Chaeyoung groans and resists the urge to hang up. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly." Dahyun cracks her knuckles. "Get ready to take notes."

Chaeyoung feels slightly stupid as she uncaps her pen and readies it on the paper. Using some random article on Google to help her get over Tzuyu seems absurd, but Dahyun looks determined. Chaeyoung doesn't have the heart to resist.

"Number 1: Distance yourself from them."

Chaeyoung mindlessly writes down the first rule when she realizes what Dahyun means. Her head snaps up to stare at Dahyun incredulously. "Are you kidding me? We live together, Dahyun, I see her literally everyday."

"True." Dahyun frowns and looks down at the screen again to reference the website. "But you can still kinda distance yourself. For example, stop sleeping with her."

"I'm not-!" Chaeyoung's voice suddenly goes very high, and she clears her throat. "I'm not sleeping with her!"

"Not like that, idiot. I mean sleeping in the same bed. I know you guys do that sometimes, and I'm willing to bet my entire stash of ramen you guys are still sleeping in the same bed to this day."

Chaeyoung wisely chooses not to respond.

"I'm right and you and I both know it."

"So no sleeping in the same bed," Chaeyoung murmurs and makes a tiny note next to the rule. "Got it."

"Number 2: Remove them from your phone."

Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. "I'm trying to get rid of my crush, not get rid of Tzuyu entirely."

"Okay, we can just modify this one too." She takes a second to think before snapping her fingers. "Your lockscreen is Tzuyu with that one puppy at the animal shelter, right!"

She nods, even though she doesn't like where this is going.

"Change it," Dahyun says. "It's hard enough seeing her everyday, you don't need to look at a devastatingly cute picture of a puppy with a puppy everytime you go on your phone too."

"But it's a cute picture," Chaeyoung whines and turns on her phone. Tzuyu's cradling the puppy to her chest, and she's staring down at it with the biggest smile. Chaeyoung's heart literally beats faster everytime she sees it.

Fuck, Dahyun is right.

Defeatedly, she scribbles down the second rule and looks back at her phone. She'd remove it later. "Okay. What's next?"

"Number 3: Stop talking to them and thinking about them."

"I still live with her," Chaeyoung reminds her, doodling a tiny heart on the side of the paper.

"Just stop thinking of her then. Don't think any lovey-dovey thoughts, like how pretty she looks, or how cute her smile is, or how God himself created her with perfect proportions in mind…" Dahyun trails off and shakes her head in slight wonder. "Tzuyu really is perfect."

"Yeah, she is," Chaeyoung says without thinking. Dahyun shoots her a look as if to say _ I told you so, _ and Chaeyoung scowls. "I can't just stop myself from thinking about Tzuyu, she makes up like, ninety-nine percent of my brain."

"You can stop yourself from dwelling on her. You can think 'oh, she's really pretty', then move on to something else. Don't wallow in your feelings."

She writes down the third rule, even though she knows she'll probably break it constantly. "What's next?"

"Number 4: Lean on your friends." Dahyun grins widely and motions to herself.

Chaeyoung is unimpressed. "Did you make that up?"

"Rude. I did not, look."

Chaeyoung sees a very grainy version of of proof on her friend's phone. "Fine, lean on my friends. My friends that are not Tzuyu."

Dahyun nods. "Definitely don't lean on Tzuyu." She looks back at her phone. "Number 5: Focus on yourself and your interests."

Chaeyoung jots it down. That one seems the most straightforward out of all of them.

"And Number 6: Consider dating other people."

Chaeyoung doesn't have much experience in dating. She spent middle school listening to girls gush about boys and not understanding a thing. Then, once she had everything figured out, she spent half of high school pining over her best friend. She went on a couple dates here and there, and there was the weird thing with Mina for a couple months that none of their friends wanted to acknowledge. The biggest thing was probably her relationship with a girl named Rosé, but that had ended quickly when they found out they actually shared the same first name.

Chaeyoung puts it down anyway. She's in college now. Isn't this the time to experience life or something? She should probably start at least going on dates.

"And that's a wrap," Dahyun says. She checks the time and her eyes widen before she curses under her breath. "Sorry, but I need to go. I told Sana I'd meet her for dinner today."

"Speaking of crushes, how are you and Sana?"

Dahyun blushes. "Nothing is happening between us, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Okay, Dahyun," Chaeyoung says in a tone that means she doesn't believe her. "Call me when you finally man up and kiss her."

"First off, I'm a girl. And second off, I hate you."

"You love me." Chaeyoung blows a kiss and waves at the monitor.

"This is what I get for helping you," Dahyun mutters. She gives Chaeyoung a look. "So what are you gonna do now, Chaeng?"

"Follow the rules," Chaeyoung says.

"You can do it. Fighting!"

With that, Chaeyoung is left with silence and a piece of paper that was supposed to help her get her life together. She skims over what she's written.

_ Number 1: Distance yourself from them _

_ Number 2: Remove them from your phone _

_ Number 3: Stop talking to them and thinking about them _

_ Number 4: Lean on your friends _

_ Number 5: Focus on yourself and your interests _

_ Number 6: Consider dating other people _

Chaeyoung dates the paper. Hopefully in the future, she can look back on this and laugh with Dahyun about the ridiculousness of using WikiHow to make rules to get over Tzuyu.

Until then, she'll have to wait for this crush to go away.

//

"Chaeyoung-ah, I'm home," Tzuyu says in a sing song voice, and Chaeyoung almost chokes up because of how cliche it is. She and Tzuyu were like those married couples in the movies. Immediately following the thought was an image of Dahyun frowning in disapproval at Chaeyoung and waving around a piece of paper.

_ Number 3: Stop thinking of her like that_, Chaeyoung silently reminds herself. They aren't in some movie, and they definitely aren't married.

"Hey, Tzuyu," Chaeyoung greets her from the couch and makes the minimal amount of eye contact to be considered polite before dropping her gaze back to her Twitter feed. She decidedly does not look up when Tzuyu plops on the couch with her.

"What did you do today?" Tzuyu asks.

"Um, not much. Cleaned a bit, FaceTimed Dahyun, that kind of stuff." At this point, she's just randomly liking tweets so it looks like she's doing something.

"Dahyun? How's she?"

"Good," Chaeyoung mumbles. She can feel Tzuyu staring at her, and finally she looks up to see Tzuyu frowning at her.

"Are you okay?”

"Yeah, why wouldn't I? Everything's completely fine. Nothing out of the ordinary." Tzuyu is looking at her strangely, and she abruptly stands up. "Let's have dinner."

She turns away so she doesn't have to see Tzuyu's expression.

Dinner is even worse. Tzuyu's foot had brushed against her calf while they were eating, and she jolted like someone electrocuted her. Tzuyu probably thinks Chaeyoung is having a stroke or something.

"Um, do you want to watch a movie before bed?" Tzuyu asks when they finish putting the food away.

Chaeyoung would say no so she could get away from Tzuyu before she does something dumber than what she's already done, but she doesn't want Tzuyu to be suspicious, so she halfheartedly agrees.

She can't pay attention to the movie. It was as if she had this sixth sense only tuned in to everything Tzuyu did, and it was awakened when she and Dahyun talked earlier that day. She'd see Tzuyu do something simple, like brush her hair behind her ear and be in awe of her, then have an internal battle to stop thinking about Tzuyu.

Needless to say, it was very exhausting. She's just lucky Tzuyu wasn't in a cuddly mood today, or Chaeyoung would have been fucked.

"You ready for bed?" Chaeyoung says hopefully so she could escape and compose herself.

Tzuyu just nods, and Chaeyoung can see she's still shooting Chaeyoung questioning glances but won't directly address the awkward atmosphere.

Chaeyoung sure as hell wasn't going to address it either. What was she gonna say? _ Oh, sorry I'm being so awkward, I just keep thinking about a list of rules I made to help me get over you. _She didn't think that would go over too well.

When she's all ready, she comes out of the bathroom to see Tzuyu standing outside of the bedrooms, looking down at her phone. She looks up when she hears the door open and stares at Chaeyoung expectantly.

She's waiting for Chaeyoung. Of course she is.

Chaeyoung curses under her breath as she recalls rule one. _ Distance yourself_. Specifically, no sleeping in the same bed. Dahyun's stern face pops up in her mind again. She searches her mind for any excuses.

"Sorry, Tzuyu. I have this lecture I need to catch up on before class tomorrow," Chaeyoung says.

Tzuyu pouts, and Chaeyoung's resolve almost crumbles instantly. "Can't you do it tomorrow morning?"

She takes a calming breath to try and ground herself. "No, I need to get the hang of it tonight. It's gonna take a while, so don't wait up. If it's not too late, I'll go to your room."

"Okay," Tzuyu murmurs quietly, the frown still etched on her face. She seems to contemplate something for a long second before she steps forward and hugs Chaeyoung, who freezes at the contact. Her brain starts to work again after a second, and she hugs her back loosely. "Good luck on your class."

Tzuyu disappears into her own room, but she leaves a tiny crack open. It's a reminder that Chaeyoung is welcome to come anytime.

Chaeyoung sighs and presses her palms into her eyes. The rules seem to echo around in her head, taunting her.

That reminds her. She opens her phone and stares at the home screen for a long time. Tzuyu's bright smile automatically brings a tiny smile to Chaeyoung's face too. Her eyes take in every detail of the picture she's had as her background for months now.

_ Number 2: Delete them from your phone._ Chaeyoung clenches her jaw.

She changes her home screen to one of the preset ones that comes with every phone, and she doesn't go to Tzuyu's room all night.

She also doesn't sleep well at all, but it doesn't really matter in the big picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned :)


	2. Chapter 2

It's been two weeks, and Chaeyoung thinks she's doing fairly well at following the list of rules. Classes are going full force, so at least she has believable excuses to tell Tzuyu now.

She tries to stay away from the apartment during the day, and she forgoes their nightly drama sessions to either catch up on sleep or do homework. They haven't cooked together in a while, and Chaeyoung hasn't stepped foot in Tzuyu's room since before she and Dahyun made the list.

It hurts, but it's necessary. At least that's what she keeps telling herself. Hopefully this self-imposed exile won't last much longer because her crush should be going away anytime soon. She just had to give it a little bit more time.

Chaeyoung checks the time on her phone and sighs. She didn't realize it had gotten so late. She packs up her things and starts to head home. It's way past dinner time, and she hopes Tzuyu remembered to eat.

She opens the door to her apartment as quietly as she can and turns on the lights. Then she lets out a small shriek.

"Tzuyu-ya!" she whisper-yells, her heart beating quickly. The girl had been sitting on the couch in the dark and scared Chaeyoung half to death when she turned the lights on. "What are you still doing up? It's almost twelve."

Tzuyu stands up, her arms crossed over her chest defensively. "I was waiting for you."

Chaeyoung's stomach drops when she hears she's the reason Tzuyu is awake, despite the girl having an eight o'clock class tomorrow morning. "Sorry, I didn't realize it was so late."

"I was really worried, you know." Her voice is flat, and Chaeyoung deliberately avoids Tzuyu's gaze.

Chaeyoung tries to grin to reassure her. "Don't worry, I'm home safely. You can go to bed."

When Tzuyu doesn't move, Chaeyoung looks up. Tzuyu's clenching her jaw and her lower lip trembles and _ oh god_, were those tears? Chaeyoung rushes over, but Tzuyu creates more distance and keeps her hands in between them.

"Tzuyu?" she says gently and takes a small step forward. Tzuyu takes another step back, making Chaeyoung freeze. She thought the first time was a fluke, but Tzuyu's intentionally trying to keep Chaeyoung away.

"What did I do, Chaeng?" she asks, her voice cracking. "You're avoiding me and I don't know why."

"I'm not _ avoiding _you," Chaeyoung protests weakly.

"When you leave in the morning, you stay out late. You respond to my texts with one word answers, and you probably say ten words to me before going to your room for the night." Tzuyu swipes at the tears with her sleeve with a slight scowl. She's always hated letting her emotions get the better of her.

"My classes…" She trails off, not wanting to lie to Tzuyu any more than she already is. She takes another step forward with open arms. "Tzuyu, please."

Next thing she knows, Tzuyu's in her arms, and Chaeyoung maneuvers them to the couch because it's hard to act as a shoulder to cry on when the crier is a head taller. Tzuyu's face is buried in her neck, and the tears are making Chaeyoung's shirt damp, but she doesn't care as long as she helps Tzuyu.

Chaeyoung isn't sure how long they stay in that position for. It could've been minutes, or it could've been hours for all she knew. Tzuyu's quiet sobs have progressed to little sniffles and some hiccups, but she still hides her face in Chaeyoung's shoulder.

"Chaeyoung-ah," Tzuyu whispers, her arms tightening around Chaeyoung. "What do I do to fix this."

Chaeyoung feels her chest constrict painfully. "It's not your fault. I'm-" _ I'm a coward. _ "-I'm sorry. I got caught up in everything and didn't realize how distant I was." _ Liar. _"I won't do it again."

Tzuyu finally looks at her. Her eyes are red and slightly swollen, and she's obviously exhausted, but Chaeyoung still thinks she looks as beautiful as ever.

"Chaeng, you're too important for me to lose. If you changed your mind about living together, I'm sure we can figure something out-"

"No," Chaeyoung says firmly, a bit horrified Tzuyu is even considering that. "None if this is your fault, Tzu."

"Are you sure?" Her voice is small, and Chaeyoung's heart breaks. 

Tzuyu's always had some insecurities. When their group figured out it was due to a group of older girls bullying her, both for her foreignness and jealousy of her beauty, they were all livid. Chaeyoung threw her bubble tea all over the ringleader in the middle of the cafeteria, and Jeongyeon and Nayeon outright challenged the girls to a duel right after. They all got detention, but the girls never bothered Tzuyu again, and Tzuyu had on the biggest grin, so it was worth the scolding her mom gave her later.

"I'm positive."

She hugs Tzuyu closer. Chaeyoung loathes herself for not noticing how bad Tzuyu was getting and letting it go this far. She was so wrapped up in her own problems, she completely shut out her best friend.

"We should go to bed, you have class early tomorrow." Chaeyoung nudges Tzuyu gently. They stand up but Tzuyu keeps her arm around Chaeyoung's shoulders, like she's scared Chaeyoung will slip away the moment she lets go.

Chaeyoung takes a step towards her room, causing Tzuyu to make a small noise and tug her shirt gently. She looks at Chaeyoung with wide, imploring eyes, making Chaeyoung's heart skip a beat.

"I'm just going to change," Chaeyoung reassures her with a small smile. "I'll be back."

"Promise?" Tzuyu holds up her pinkie, and Chaeyoung rolls her eyes but links pinkies with her nonetheless.

She changes into her pajamas quickly. Something sticking off the edge of her desk catches her eye, and she walks over to see The List. It seems to be glaring at her accusingly, if that's even possible for a paper to do.

She huffs and grabs the paper, tempted to rip it to pieces, but something stops her. Instead, she folds it up into a tiny square and tosses it in the drawer of her cabinet.

Tzuyu comes first. Getting over her crush won't be worth it if her relationship with Tzuyu will be destroyed, her personal feelings be damned.

She pokes her head into Tzuyu's room and grins at the sight of Tzuyu leaning against the headboard. Tzuyu smiles softly when Chaeyoung enters the room, scooting over to allow Chaeyoung to slip into the bed. Almost immediately, Tzuyu's arms envelop her.

She’s missed this.

"Chaengie," Tzuyu mumbles, using the affectionate nickname she gave her when they were young. "I love you."

Chaeyoung's heart drops at the words. She swallows hard. "I love you too."

//

"Momo invited us to a party," Chaeyoung mentions while they're watching an American TV show they started yesterday. Tzuyu was insistent on watching it to practice English, and Chaeyoung didn't care as long as Tzuyu is happy. Ever since Tzuyu broke down, Chaeyoung has been doing her best to keep the smile on Tzuyu’s face. 

Tzuyu hums noncommittally and picks up another grape. Chaeyoung opens her mouth, consequently, she gets pelted right in the middle of the forehead. "Yah!"

Tzuyu laughs. "Sorry. You're just too short, I always hit your forehead."

Chaeyoung scowls at her friend and hits her knee. "Chou Tzuyu, you're always so mean to me."

Tzuyu shrugs, popping a grape in her mouth and offering the bowel to Chaeyoung. They're silent for a few moments while watching the screen. Chaeyoung isn't sure about what's happening, all she sees is a short man trying to make a basket over and over again, but failing miserably. She refocuses on Tzuyu.

"Should I tell her we're going?"

Tzuyu is silent. "Do you want to go?"

Chaeyoung shrugs again. "I don't have any tests coming up, so I think I can go." 

She knows Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo said they can't because of school or work. Mina just doesn't want to go out of her room. Everyone else is planning on going though.

"I'll go wherever you go, Chaeng," Tzuyu says easily, tossing another grape into her mouth.

Chaeyoung's breath hitches in her throat. She takes a sip of water to try and tone down her blush. "Sounds good." She's surprised and slightly proud her voice didn't crack or anything.

"Now be quiet so I can listen to Michael and Dwight."

She rolls her eyes at Tzuyu's playful smile. "Yes, ma'am."

//

Chaeyoung is not _ drunk_. She's only had a couple beers? Oh, and she did some shots with Momo, but that was it. She couldn’t possibly be as drunk as Tzuyu says she was.

"Tzuyu-ah!" Chaeyoung says, wrapping her arms around Tzuyu's neck and looking up at her with wide eyes. "You're tall."

Tzuyu smiles in amusement. "Everyone's tall to you, Chaeng, you're short."

Chaeyoung frowns. "Will you give me some of your height?"

"Chaeyoung, Tzuyu!" Momo pops out of nowhere, and she tugs on Chaeyoung's arm. "Truth or dare in the living room."

Chaeyoung cheers, and she grabs Tzuyu's wrist before Tzuyu can make her escape. "Tzu, you gotta stay for this. We can leave right after, okay."

Tzuyu sighs and resigns to her fate. She allows herself to be dragged to a small game of Truth or Dare. The other girls were already sitting in a circle, some of which Chaeyoung knows.

"Okay, ready." Momo sways on her feet before sitting on the floor ungracefully next to Sana. Chaeyoung drags Tzuyu down with her, and she doesn't release her hand.

The game starts off pretty tame. Joy had to shotgun a beer, Wendy sang Gangnam Style to the entire party live, and Lisa danced to Baby Shark. Jisoo chose Jennie as her ideal girl, and Momo confessed she had a tiny crush on Sana growing up. Chaeyoung didn't have to do anything too embarrassing yet, and Tzuyu was somehow blending into the wall because she hasn't been picked for anything.

As the game went on and they got drunker, it turned into them giving each other dares that progressively got worse and worse.

"Joy," Wendy says with an evil grin. "I dare you to give Seulgi a lapdance."

Someone in the circle whistles, and Joy smirks at Seulgi as she grabs a chair for the girl to sit on. Seulgi looks a bit terrified, and Chaeyoung can relate. Joy is so confident, it terrifies anyone that's sane.

The lapdance is hilarious to watch, with Joy's expressions and Seulgi's firmly closed eyes and tightly clasped hands. Wendy sits back in satisfaction at Seulgi's clear embarrassment. It was probably revenge for making Wendy and Irene play a game of chicken earlier.

Once the two are done, Chaeyoung has a brilliant idea. She reaches over and taps Dahyun on the shoulder. "Dahyun, seven minutes in heaven with Sana."

Everyone starts to cheer and goad on the girls. Honestly, this is a great idea. Dahyun's too scared to make the first move, and Sana is waiting for Dahyun to make the first move. Dahyun just needs a little push, and Chaeyoung has just pushed her.

After a minute of Dahyun's whining, Sana gets fed up and grabs her and pulls her into the closet. Chaeyoung grins and claps her hands. Something is bound to happen.

Lisa has another dare that somehow ends with Jisoo and Jennie kissing again, and Chaeyoung is fairly sure this is the fifth time tonight the two girls ended up kissing. Lisa was really pushing them together. Chaeyoung nods approvingly, she can appreciate a fellow matchmaker.

Speaking of matchmaker, seven minutes are up. She motions for someone to open the door, and when Dahyun and Sana come out, Dahyun's wearing a dumb grin on her face. Get Chaeyoung a bow and a diaper because she's practically Cupid at this point.

She's sure Dahyun will be grateful for her pushing, but when Chaeyoung and Dahyun look at each other, Dajyun has a glint in her eye that Chaeyoung doesn't like.

"Chaeyoung-ah. I dare you to do body shots with…" Her eyes scan the circle, and Chaeyoung starts to panic. Dahyun isn’t evil enough to say Tzuyu, is she? "...Yeri."

"Unnie," Chaeyoung whines, but she knows it's futile. Dahyun is out for revenge.

Someone rushes to grab the supplies, and Joy shoves Yeri. Yeri stumbles and she's suddenly in front of Chaeyoung with red cheeks and a grin. Chaeyoung is sure her cheeks are just as red.

There's a shot glass being placed in her hand, and Yeri is being pushed into a chair. Yeri tilts her head, allowing for the salt to be sprinkled on her collarbone and neck, and she places the lime slice in her mouth.

All this happens in a second, and Chaeyoung can't believe Dahyun is paying her back by making her do body shots with Yeri. She's never gonna try and make her friends happy again, the price was not worth it.

She's pretty sure Sana is trying to start a chant, and if Chaeyoung doesn't hurry, the whole party will come in and witness her embarrassment.

She downs her shot wrinkling her nose at the taste. Step one down, now she needs to get the line of salt. The line of salt currently on Yeri's neck. Chaeyoung leans forward, and she's pretty sure her ears are about to catch on fire with how hot they are. She licks up the salt as quickly as possible, ignoring the cheers around her.

_ Fuck you, Dahyun. _

Now the lime slice. Yeri's holding it between her teeth with a small smirk, and Chaeyoung curses Joy for being such good friends with Yeri because her confidence has rubbed off. She avoids Yeri's eyes and is grateful no one pushes her while she's that close to Yeri's lips. Chaeyoung comes up with the lime victoriously, glad nothing worse happened.

Everyone claps, and she thinks she's free.

"Yeri's turn!" Joy says, grinning.

Chaeyoung's shoulders slump, and she doesn't even try to fight. What Joy wants, Joy gets. She sits down in the chair, cringing at the odd feeling of salt on her skin, and obediently takes the lime slice Sana gives her. She glares at Dahyun for good measure though.

Yeri drinks the shot easily and immediately goes in for the salt. Chaeyoung swallows down a small squeak that would've left everyone teasing her for the rest of the night.

Yeri is leaning in towards her, and Chaeyoung stares at the ceiling, waiting for this to be over.

Suddenly, Yeri lurches forward and misses the lime entirely. Their lips briefly touch, and Chaeyoung nearly falls out of the chair. Yeri just tries again, and luckily, she's successful the second time. Chaeyoung looks behind Yeri and sees Sana covering up her giggles by hiding in Dahyun shoulder. It's obvious she pushed Yeri into her.

Chaeyoung is going to kill both of them. Dahyun seems to realize this, and she tugs Sana away before Chaeyoung can act on her plan.

Everyone's already moved on to watching a game of flip cup, and Yeri seems unbothered by the kiss. 

Tzuyu taps her knee, and Chaeyoung turns to face her. She's frowning, and her eyes are dark. Tzuyu points at the door, asking a silent question. Chaeyoung nods. She should get out of here before body shots are inevitably suggested again. Those things suck.

Tzuyu is oddly silent on the way home and while they're washing up, and Chaeyoung doesn't know why. She searches her foggy memories for something she did at the party, but she's drawing a blank.

"Tzuyu, are you mad?" Chaeyoung says slowly in an effort not to slur her words. She splashes water on her face to try and sober up a bit.

"Why would I be mad?" Tzuyu asks.

"Dunno." She thinks for a moment. "You're really quiet."

Tzuyu sighs, allowing the silence to overtake them for a few moments. Then, "I'm not mad, Chaengie. Just tired."

"Okay." Chaeyoung can't think of any other reason why Tzuyu is so quiet. Tzuyu isn't really into parties, so maybe she really is just tired.

Chaeyoung thinks Tzuyu wants to be alone to recharge, so she's surprised when Tzuyu redirects them to her room. She doesn't question it though because it means cuddles, and drunk Chaeyoung loves cuddles. She automatically rests her head in the crook of Tzuyu's neck and throws an arm around her. It only takes a few minutes before she's fast asleep.

//

Chaeyoung was simply eating her pizza quietly when a balled up napkin hits her in the nose. She glares at the offender and throws the napkin back. "Yah, what was that for?"

"Pay attention to my story," Yeri whines, making Chaeyoung roll her eyes. She's always so demanding. 

"I am paying attention. You and Saeron were tipsy and talking, and you accidentally told her your ideal type was her."

Yeri groans, burying her face in her arms. "I told her my ideal type was her. And then I panicked and said I wish she was a guy."

"Useless gay," Chaeyoung mutters. This time, she was ready to dodge the napkin Yeri throws at her.

"How do I tell her I'm gay and into her," Yeri laments. 

Saeron is out, but she already got her heart broken by an experimenting girl doesn't want to experience that again. Unfortunately for Yeri, everything she has ever said to Saeron paints her as someone who hasn't been with a girl yet, even though she has. It's a tragedy, really, and Chaeyoung is thoroughly enjoying it. It's like she's watching a drama, but better.

"Go up to her and say that."

"It's not that easy."

Chaeyoung takes another bite of her pizza. "I don't know why you're asking me, I'm just as useless as you."

"Yeah, you won't make a move on Tzuyu and you've been into her for years." Chaeyoung tries to protest, but Yeri stops her. "Dahyun told me your entire life story already, so don't try to deny it."

Chaeyoung hates Dahyun sometimes. She got Dahyun and Sana to date, and this is her thanks?

"I don't know why you won't," Yeri continues. "Did you see her when we were doing body shots? I actually thought she was going to kill me with her eyes."

"Shut up, you sound like Dahyun."

"It's true! Tzuyu-ssi scares me."

"She's not scary."

"You never notice because she's soft and in love with you."

"Yeri." Chaeyoung's voice takes on an edge, and Yeri holds up her hands in surrender.

"I'm just saying, if you told her we were dating, I'd be dead and thrown in a lake somewhere the next day."

"You're so dramatic. Tzuyu would never do that anyway." She pauses while keeping a blank expression. "She'd disintegrate your body using acid because she's too smart to throw your body in a lake where it could potentially be found."

Yeri pales slightly. "Yah, not funny Son Chaeyoung."

Chaeyoung laughs and suddenly gets an idea about Yeri’s situation. "Just let it slip in conversation you've dated a girl, and you'll get your point across just fine."

Yeri hums, contemplating the suggestion. "That's actually...not a bad idea. I never knew you had it in you."

She scoffs. "Please. Do I need to remind you of the partner project we did a week ago?"

They argue about who did the most in the project while they're walking to Chaeyoung's apartment complex. 

"Fine, maybe you did do a little more work. But I came up with all the ideas," Yeri claims as they arrive.

Chaeyoung hits the girl's forehead lightly. "Just admit I did everything for that project because you were too busy trying to figure out a way to ask Saeron on a date. A date you ended up saying it was as friends because you're useless in every sense."

"I don't like to be reminded of my past failures."

"Just let it be known you date girls, and do not, under any circumstances, say it was experimenting or anything similar. That would be very on brand for you."

Yeri laughs and pulls Chaeyoung into a hug. "I'll try my best. Thanks for listening to me whine about my problems. I can't tell any of my unnies, they'll never let me hear the end of it."

"No problem. FaceTime me after you hang out with Saeron."

Yeri gives her a salute while walking away. She may be useless, but at least she's doing something about her crush. Ever since Chaeyoung stopped avoiding Tzuyu, her feelings are just as bad as when it started. She's still adamant on it being a small crush, and she's resorted to just ignoring the little flips her heart does when she's around Tzuyu.

It'll go away with time.

"Are you still watching that American show?" Chaeyoung asks when she enters the apartment, amusement coloring her tone.

"It's called _ The Office_, and obviously I'm still watching it," Tzuyu responds without looking up from her place on the couch.

Chaeyoung sheds her coat and goes to sit by Tzuyu. "I brought you home some pizza."

Tzuyu takes the offered box, tilting her head. "Out with Yeri again?"

Chaeyoung nods mindlessly, already scrolling through Twitter.

"You guys have seemed to have gotten close quickly."

"Well, we did do body shots together," Chaeyoung replies, shuddering slightly at the memory. She gags at a picture Dahyun tweeted of a sleeping Sana and comments _ whipped _ underneath it before showing it to Tzuyu.

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "They're just in the honeymoon stage. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about."

Chaeyoung nods again when Tzuyu's words finally register. She looks away from her phone to stare at Tzuyu questioningly. "What?"

"You and Yeri," Tzuyu elaborates, and Chaeyoung chokes on air.

"Y-Yeri?" she gets out past her laughter. "You did not just say that." She takes a few deep breaths to calm down. "You think I'm dating Yeri?"

"It's not that far of a reach," whines Tzuyu, poking Chaeyoung's side with her foot. "You guys are always hanging out now. I just assumed you guys...bonded over your body shots or something."

Chaeyoung starts to laugh again because seriously, bonding from body shots? How could you bond over body shots? Chaeyoung would like nothing more than to forget the embarrassment of it all.

"Stop laughing," Tzuyu says, pouting, and Chaeyoung resists the urge to grab her and kiss her because no one should be able to look so cute.

"Aww, Tzuyu-ya, trust me. You'd be the first to know whether there's something going on between me and Yeri."

"So there's a chance-"

Tzuyu is interrupted by Chaeyoung's phone buzzing, Yeri's picture lighting up the screen. Chaeyoung shoots an apologetic look at Tzuyu. "Sorry, but I really need to take this."

"Whipped," Tzuyu murmurs, her expression a bit sullen. Chaeyoung shoots her a glare because really, using her own words against her was a low blow, before disappearing into her room.

As soon as she answers Yeri, there's incomprehensible screaming from the line. Chaeyoung winces and squints at the screen, trying to distinguish Yeri from the mess of blankets and pillows. "Woah, take a breath. What happened?"

"So you know that thing you told me not to do?"

Chaeyoung sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose. Perhaps Yeri is as hopeless as her. She lays down on her bed, knowing this conversation is about to take a while. "Tell me everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and kudos. I'm glad people like this story!


	3. Chapter 3

"So, do we have a plan yet for after Christmas?"

Tzuyu shrugs. "I dunno, I usually let Jihyo and Jeongyeon plan all that stuff."

Every year during winter break, their little group plans a little get-together for the holidays. They usually spend a couple days at one of Mina's houses (her family owns three) catching up with each other, watching TV, eating copious amounts of junk food, and complaining about break ending. It's a nice way to keep in touch after high school since they don't all attend the same university.

"I think Mina mentioned her parents said she was free to use the house that's outside of the city." Chaeyoung's face lights up. "Also, we need to buy some mistletoe."

Tzuyu already knows the look Chaeyoung gets when she plots. "Who are you trying to get together this time?"

"Momo-unnie and Mina-unnie."

Tzuyu raises her eyebrows. "Are you sure that's a good idea? It's not exactly the same situation as Dahyun and Sana."

Chaeyoung knows what she's referring to. In the Sana and Dahyun situation, there was a mutual attraction that was obvious to anyone in a ten-foot radius, and the only thing holding them back was the aversion to make the first move.

In the Momo and Mina situation, it's not as obvious. Momo is stupidly oblivious, and Mina is super awkward at times, so you never knew what was going on with them. But Chaeyoung is ninety percent sure they're in love and just don't know it. Hell, they act like a couple already, they just need to name it. "I'm sure."

Tzuyu sighs, knowing Chaeyoung will be relentless, even if she doesn't join her plan. "Where do we buy mistletoe?"

A couple minutes later, they're scrolling through Amazon. Tzuyu is still unsure about the whole plan.

"How are we gonna get them under the mistletoe? And even if they do get under it, there's no way they're willingly going to kiss because of an age-old, and frankly, creepy tradition."

Chaeyoung rubs her hands together before pressing the purchase button. "Don't worry, I've got it all planned out, okay? Trust me."

"The last time I trusted you, we ended up running from the police for vandalising a building."

"A building owned by a homophobic dick. And if we trusted you, we would've been in jail for _ killing _ a man instead of just running from the police, so who's really the smart one here."

"Whatever."

//

"Sana, did you preheat the oven?"

"I thought Momo was supposed to do that."

"Do I look like I'd put Momo in charge of the oven?" Jeongyeon asks in exasperation, and Momo throws a piece of cookie dough at her. "Yah!"

"What do I preheat it to?" Sana asks loudly over the insults being hurled.

Chaeyoung can tell it's seconds away from turning into a full-out food fight, so she just backs away from the kitchen slowly. She hopes her lack of sudden movements will protect her from being a potential target.

She forgets how loud some of her friends can be.

"What's wrong?" Tzuyu asks, about to go through to kitchen to their bedroom.

"I wouldn't go in there unless you want to be pelted with cookie dough."

Tzuyu grimaces and looks at the staircase across the kitchen longingly. "I guess I can unpack later tonight."

"It's probably for the best," Chaeyoung agrees. "But while we're waiting for the kitchen to be safe, we can discuss the plan!"

Tzuyu allows Chaeyoung to pull her towards the couch with minimal complaints. When Chaeyoung gets started, there's nothing that can stop her.

"Okay, so you brought the mistletoe, right?"

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "It's kinda hard to forget when you had me check every five minutes while we packed."

Chaeyoung has the decency to blush, but she doesn't back down. "Hey, our entire plan hangs on that mistletoe. Without it, there is literally no plan."

"Yes, I brought it."

"Okay, so here's the plan…"

Hours later, after the cookies are successfully made (not without casualties though), Tzuyu discreetly hangs up the mistletoe in the doorway leading into the kitchen. Chaeyoung gives her a thumbs up, and now they wait for their unsuspecting victims. Everyone starts to trickle in for the Christmas movie they prepared.

"That lump of dough does not constitute as a cookie." Jeongyeon's voice filters in the living room, and she walks in with Nayeon.

"It's made of cookie dough, therefore, it is a cookie," Nayeon snaps back. "Just admit it, I made the bigger cookie."

The two sit down on the loveseat, despite still arguing heatedly about the bigger cookie. Chaeyoung thinks Jeongyeon is right, but she doesn't dare say it. She'd rather live another day than to get murdered by Nayeon.

"Dahyun-ie, I don't think there's gonna be enough seats, so you should sit on my lap."

"There's two couches, one loveseat, and a recliner," Dahyun deadpans as she and Sana walk through the doorway next. "I think we'll be fine."

Jihyo follows closely behind, staring at Sana with a judgmental expression. "Yah, Sana! That's our maknae you're talking about."

Sana looks appropriately abashed for all of two seconds before she pulls Dahyun into her lap on the couch. Jihyo looks disgruntled as she takes a seat on the other side of the couch.

Just when Chaeyoung starts to wonder where the other two are, Momo wanders in with a cookie in her hand. She looks up at the plant in the doorway with a quizzical look and asks, "What's this?"

Chaeyoung nearly starts to vibrate from her excitement. "Momo-unnie, stay there." She hears footsteps, and Mina makes her appearance. This is the moment.

"Mistletoe," Mina says, also staring at the plant. "I wonder who put that there." She turns towards Momo and presses a gentle kiss against her lips before linking their arms together and heading towards the couch.

Why was that so easy? Why were Momo and Mina so nonchalant about the kiss? Chaeyoung watches in bewilderment as all the intricate steps of her plan got tossed out the window. "Wait, what?"

"Surprise," Momo mumbles through her cookie. "We're dating."

Everyone else in the room doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Sana even throws out a "we been knew" and what was Chaeyoung's life anyway?

"I had a plan!" Chaeyoung says mournfully. "We were gonna trap you and Mina under the mistletoe, and then Sana would've said you had to kiss because it's tradition, and then after a few minutes of whining, you would've kissed and fireworks happen and you would've had each others' babies!"

They stare at Chaeyoung a little concernedly, and Momo lets out a hesitant, "I'm sorry?"

Chaeyoung just huffs, annoyed her plan didn't go flawlessly like she had expected it to. Tzuyu hides her laughter behind her hands and pats the space next to her on the unoccupied couch. Her friends, already used to her antics, have already written off her actions as Chaeyoung being strange again.

"Life is hard," Chaeyoung tells Tzuyu, dramatically sprawling on top of her.

Tzuyu smirks and pats her head. "I know, honey."

She pouts and focuses on the movie. Or, she tries to, but it gets hard when she becomes hyper aware of the fact that her head is in Tzuyu's lap, with Tzuyu running her hands through Chaeyoung's hair gently. She feels the soft lull of sleep pulling at her, and Tzuyu's familiar presence wraps around her like a blanket, protecting her.

She must've fallen asleep because the next thing she knows, Tzuyu's looking down at Chaeyoung with an endearing grin, and she's tapping Chaeyoung's forehead gently to wake her up.

Chaeyoung blinks blearily and squints around the room. Nayeon and Jeongyeon have already retired to their rooms, the oldies. Jihyo and Mina are trying to draw on a sleeping Momo's face while Sana records it all with her phone.

And Dahyun? Dahyun's staring at Chaeyoung with knowing eyes, and it feels like a bucket of ice had been dumped on her. She jolts upwards, narrowly missing Tzuyu's forehead, and jumps off the couch. "Uh, bathroom."

Chaeyoung rushes out of the room and hides in the bathroom. A few moments later, someone's knocking gently on it. "Chaeng? Open up, please."

She cracks open the door to see Dahyun waiting outside, and she moves to the side to let her in. Dahyun sits on the edge of the bathtub while Chaeyoung sits on the floor and leans against the door.

"Do you wanna talk?" Dahyun asks, because she knows Chaeyoung like the back of her hand. The two practically grew up together since their families were old friends. She knows when something is bothering Chaeyoung.

"I haven't really been following the rules," Chaeyoung confesses quietly, thinking back to the list they wrote together all those months ago. It feels like a lifetime ago.

"I could tell," Dahyun replies, a wry smile appearing on her face. At Chaeyoung's questioning look, she elaborates. "I saw your bed. It was freshly made, and I'm pretty sure you don't even know how to make a bed."

Chaeyoung shrugs in response. Dahyun isn't wrong. It was easy to climb into Tzuyu's bed, considering they had to share a room here.

"But you still like her," Dahyun continues.

Chaeyoung cracks a self-deprecating grin. "Wow, no wonder you went to the best university in Korea."

They sit in silence for a bit, taking in the new information and trying to figure out what to say next. Dahyun sighs and asks, "So what are you gonna do? It's been months now."

"Tzuyu needs me, and I need her." Ever since they met, Tzuyu's stuck onto Chaeyoung like glue and vice versa. They're each others' safe space and now, since they've started to live together, they're each others' home. Tzuyu's heartbroken look the day she stopped following their list still haunts her. "I can't go back to the rules."

Dahyun nods in understanding. "You could always confess?"

"Don't be dumb," Chaeyoung murmurs. "She didn't like me in high school, where I was painfully and obviously in love with her. Why would now be any different? If I confessed, it’d just ruin things.”

"People change. You never know until you try."

They're interrupted by more knocking and terror rips through Chaeyoung. What if Tzuyu heard that entire conversation? Their entire friendship would crumble until she's left with nothing but awkward glaces and tight lipped smiles. She couldn't afford to lose Tzuyu.

"Are you almost done, I need to pee."

Chaeyoung visibly relaxes at the sound of Jeongyeon's voice, standing up from the floor and opening the door with an exaggerated scowl. Jeongyeon takes one look at the two of them in the bathroom and smirks.

"I'm telling Sana you're cheating on her with Chaeyoung," Jeongyeon shouts gleefully, ducking away from Dahyun and running towards the living room, Dahyun hot on her heels. The pair barely avoids hitting Tzuyu in the hallway, who looks disgruntled at the close call.

"Do I want to know?" Tzuyu asks Chaeyoung while cocking her head at the shouts in the living room. From the sound of it, Momo got woken up by Jeongyeon and Dahyun's screaming, and the living room is in complete chaos.

"Nope," Chaeyoung says.

"I figured." Tzuyu smiles dryly before holding out her elbow to Chaeyoung. "Sleep?"

"Let's go." Chaeyoung links her arm through Tzuyu's and ignores the tiny voice in the back of her mind. She'll deal with that later.

//

"SNOW, SNOW, SNOW!"

Chaeyoung is rudely awakened by the chanting of Sana and Momo. She can feel Tzuyu shifting beside her, making her scowl. She just wants to sleep a little longer, but she can't have nice things in this house, apparently.

"Chaeng?" Tzuyu mumbles, her voice low and raspy.

She hums in response.

"I'm pretty sure it's snowing."

Chaeyoung starts to laugh, and she can feel Tzuyu smile into her shoulder. "I wonder what made you think that. Not the idiots running down the halls screaming, was it?"

"They helped a little." A pause. "We should probably get up."

"Probably," Chaeyoung replies, unmoving. Not that she's not excited about the snow. She just thinks she can be excited about the snow when it's not eight in the morning.

Tzuyu starts to shift in the bed. "We can make a snowman."

Chaeyoung groans because she knows Tzuyu wants to get up now. The girl loves building a good snowman more than anything. Tzuyu pokes her side, making her squirm. "I'm up, I'm up."

She drags herself out of bed, followed closely by Tzuyu. Chaeyoung tilts her head up at her. "If you make me coffee, I'll help you with your snowman."

Tzuyu agrees in a heartbeat. Chaeyoung pointedly does not think of Tzuyu, with her perfect 'just woke up' look, handing Chaeyoung her coffee with a dimpled smile. In a way, this is her attempting to follow the rules without being obvious about it. _ Don't think about her like that. _

Tzuyu immediately pulls Chaeyoung upstairs when she finishes her coffee. Chaeyoung doesn't see what the hurry is all about. Still, she follows Tzuyu because she's excited, and god knows they need some excitement after the boring thing called uni.

The first thing Chaeyoung thinks when they step foot outside is that it's cold as fuck. She instinctively burrows deeper into the large coat she's wearing until it's up to her nose. Tzuyu doesn't seem to care. She's stepping through the snow easily with a smile, and Chaeyoung feels her face heat up when she realizes she's staring. Well, at least her cheeks are warm now.

Something hits her stomach, and she looks up to stare at Dahyun, who's holding another snowball at the ready. Chaeyoung narrows her eyes at the challenge, leaning down to scoop some snow before charging.

Dahyun screeches and hides behind Sana, who gets hit by Chaeyoung's snowball instead. Sana locks eyes with Chaeyoung, and Chaeyoung doesn't have time to say sorry before she barely dodges a snowball Sana sends her way.

Another snowball come flying out of nowhere, pelting Sana in the shoulder. Chaeyoung looks back to see Momo wearing a large grin. Jeongyeon pops up from behind her makeshift wall of snow, yelling something vaguely resembling a war cry, and all bets were off now.

Chaeyoung ducks under the snowball Jeongyeon chucks her way and runs towards the trees to safety. Mina's house is right on the edge of some woods, so maybe she'll make it out of this alive.

Another snowball whizzes past her ear, and since when could Sana throw that hard? She lowers herself more to the ground, thanking her short stature for once in her life.

Chaeyoung makes it to the tree unscathed, and she presses herself firmly against the bark. When she risks a glance back at everyone else, she narrowly misses a snowball to the face again. "Fuck you, Nayeon!"

The loud cackle that followed indicates Nayeon had heard her and didn't care one bit. Good to know Chaeyoung's opinions mattered in this family.

Chaeyoung feels the hair on the back of her neck stand up, and she feels like she's being watched. Slowly, she scans the area. Anyone, or anything, could be hiding behind those trees.

Suddenly, a snowball nails her in the heart, and she screams when Jihyo jumps out from behind another tree and runs at her, another snowball hefted above her head. Chaeyoung sprints as fast as she can away from Jihyo. Unfortunately, that meant going back towards everyone else.

She curses and thinks of what to do. Jeongyeon is focused on Sana and Dahyun, and Momo is corning Mina against the wall of the house. Nayeon runs towards the woods, and Chaeyoung doesn't tell her there is a crazy girl, which may or may not be Jihyo, lying in wait for her next victim. It's karma for trying to hit Chaeyoung with that one snowball.

There's one person unaccounted for. Chaeyoung frowns, looking for Tzuyu among the flying snow and screaming bodies.

Something cold and wet explodes on the back of her head, and Chaeyoung is so surprised, she slips and falls into the snow. The slightly melted snowball trickles under her coat into her shirt, and Chaeyoung squirms at the uncomfortable feeling. She was gonna _ murder _whoever threw that.

"Chaeyoung, are you okay?" Tzuyu's head peeks into her line of vision, and Chaeyoung's breath catches in her throat like it usually does when she sees Tzuyu. From this perspective, Tzuyu looks like an angel. Her dark hair frames her face prettily, and the sky made it seem like she has a halo around her head.

No angel would've pelted her in the head like that though. _ Low blow, Chou Tzuyu, _ she thinks to herself.

"I think I'm dying," Chaeyoung groans, reminiscent of their kimchi days.

Tzuyu doesn't fall for it this time though. She just lifts an eyebrow and says, "You're fine, you baby."

Chaeyoung holds out her hand. "Help me up, please?" She juts out her lower lip for good measure.

Tzuyu doesn't know what hits her. One moment, she's grabbing Chaeyoung to haul her out of the snow, the second moment, she's lying on the ground next to a hysterical Chaeyoung.

"Payback," Chaeyoung says between her laughter, turning her head to grin at Tzuyu.

Tzuyu just smacks her arm. Then, much to Chaeyoung's chagrin, she begins to make a snow angel. How was she so comfortable in the cold? Chaeyoung is freezing her ass off right now.

"C'mon, Chaeng." Tzuyu nudges her. "You might as well since you're down here."

Chaeyoung sighs, but she makes one, despite the water soaking her shirt and being unable to feel her fingers.

"Look, they're holding hands," Tzuyu points out after they stand up and observe their work. Chaeyoung blushes, and she hopes Tzuyu will pass it off as the cold making her cheeks red.

Tzuyu practically skips to an area untouched by everyone else and sings, "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

Chaeyoung finishes the rest of the line as soon as Tzuyu says that. She and Tzuyu watched _ Frozen _ quite a few times, with Tzuyu being enamoured with Kristoff and Ana's romance, and Chaeyoung liking Olaf. It's their go-to movie when they're exhausted from work and school.

"Let's make it tall," Chaeyoung says, rolling a snowball through the snow to make the lower half.

"Everything is taller than you," Tzuyu responds, laughing when Chaeyoung flings snow at her.

"Sorry, not everyone in this world is a tree."

"Everyone's a tree to you."

Chaeyoung chooses not to respond, lest she gets into another snowball fight and murders Tzuyu. She's really going soft on Tzuyu. If Jeongyeon had been the one to insult her height, the two of them would already be in the snow wrestling.

"Let's name him Olaf," Chaeyoung suggests when they put the finishing touches on him.

Tzuyu smiles at their snowman. "Olaf it is."

"Can we go inside now?" she asks after they stare at Olaf for another moment. "I can't feel my fingers. Or my toes. Or anything, really."

"You're cold?" Tzuyu throws an arm around Chaeyoung's shoulders as they walk towards the house. "I'll warm you up."

"Cute," Chaeyoung deadpans, but she wraps her arms around Tzuyu's waist anyways.

Jihyo had the foresight to make hot chocolate when she went inside, so there's two steaming cups waiting for them on the counter. Chaeyoung looks longingly at it, but she knows she should probably change first. Her shirt is still damp from Tzuyu's snowball.

She's digging through her luggage, frowning. She forgot to pack her sweatshirts. "Tzuyu-ya, can I borrow a sweatshirt?"

"Catch." Not unlike the snowball, the balled-up fabric hits Chaeyoung in the back of the head.

"Thanks." She slips it on, and it's a small blow to her pride when she notices the sweatshirt hangs down past her shorts, almost at her knees. She's practically swimming in Tzuyu's sweatshirt. It must be nice to be tall, Chaeyoung wouldn't know.

When Tzuyu turns around and sees Chaeyoung, her face lights up. "Aww, cute!" Chaeyoung grimaces, and Tzuyu pokes at her dimple. "You're so small."

Chaeyoung glares up at her, but Tzuyu's unfazed, making Chaeyoung cross her arms and huff. "I dislike you."

"You love me," Tzuyu says back as they walk back to the kitchen.

Chaeyoung places her icy fingers on Tzuyu's neck in response. Tzuyu yelps, bringing her shoulders up to her ears and glaring at Chaeyoung. "God, Chaeng, you could've just asked."

She takes Chaeyoung's hands in between her own, and Chaeyoung did not prepare to stand in the middle of the kitchen with Tzuyu holding her hands to warm her up while staring at Chaeyoung with a fond smile.

"Nice sweatshirt," Dahyun comments from where she's sitting at the kitchen table, dunking cookies in her hot chocolate.

Chaeyoung looks down instinctively, and she blushes when she realizes what sweatshirt Tzuyu actually gave her. It was her old dance studio sweatshirt, and Chaeyoung's ninety-nine percent sure that if she were to look on the back, it'd have _ Chou _ written on the back in big, bold letters.

Was she in some sort of drama? Did Tzuyu not know the implications of giving someone a sweatshirt with her last name on the back meant? She probably just gave her some sweatshirt at random and didn't look at what she gave Chaeyoung.

"I didn't pack any of mine," Chaeyoung whines, hoping the conversation she and Dahyun had with their eyes went unnoticed by everyone else in the room. It mostly consisted of her telling Dahyun to shut up anyways.

It really didn't, and everyone's looking at her and Dahyun strangely, Tzuyu included. Chaeyoung swallows thickly and wonders how she's gonna explain this one, when her phone starts to buzz on the counter. She looks down to see Yeri's name pop up.

Tzuyu's still holding her hands, staring down at Chaeyoung's phone with an imperceptible expression that makes Chaeyoung's skin itch slightly. She tugs her hands out of Tzuyu's grip to grab her phone.

"It's Chaeyoung's body shots girlfriend!" Sana exclaims when she sees Yeri's contact picture.

It's dead silent. Then Jihyo screeches, "WHAT?"

Chaeyoung runs to the safety of her room before anyone can stop her.

"What's up," Chaeyoung gasps as soon as she closes the door. She hopes no one follows her up here because she's not in the mood to get interrogated about doing body shots with Yeri.

Yeri squints at her through the screen. "Did I catch you on a run? Because I can call back later."

"No, you're good." Chaeyoung collapses on her bed, well, Tzuyu's bed, and takes time to catch her breath. She's fast when she wants to escape possible embarrassing questioning. She'll probably have to stay up here a while to let her unnies cool down.

"If you say so." Yeri props her phone up against a pillow and claps her hands. "I have so much to update you on. So, Saeron is staying with me for Christmas, right?"

Chaeyoung isn't sure she heard right. "What?"

"Didn't I tell you?"

Chaeyoung shakes her head, a dumbfounded look on her face. "How could you forget to tell me Saeron is with your family for Christmas!"

"It must've slipped my mind! In my defense, I was too busy panicking and figuring out how to make this the best Christmas ever for her."

"You're whipped and you're not even dating."

"Says you."

"Shut up."

"No, you."

//

"Body shots, Son Chaeyoung?" Jihyo looks devastated their tiny child, their maknae, could've done something terrible like body shots.

Chaeyoung winces. She hoped she had gotten out of this, but everyone is waiting for her in the living room when she finishes her call with Yeri (who is still a gay disaster and hasn't confessed to Saeron).

"Dahyun dared me to do it!"

The attention shifts to Dahyun, who widens her eyes and points back at Chaeyoung. "Because Chaeyoung made me do seven minutes in heaven with Sana!"

"Only because neither of you would make the first move, so I did it for you!"

"Oh, so basically you both tried to get each other with the person they're pining after." Jeongyeon leans back like she figured out the secret of the universe. "Our little matchmakers."

Chaeyoung nods in relief. Finally, someone who gets what she's trying to do. She's just trying to make her friends happy by giving them the push they needed. 

Wait. She shakes her head vigorously when the sentence fully sets in. "I'm not pining after Yeri!"

"Yeah, it's not like you had an hour and a half conversation with her just now," Nayeon points out.

"We're friends. We talked as _ friends_," she draws the word out, frustrated when Nayeon just raises her eyebrows.

"Yeah, she likes someone else anyways," Dahyun pipes up.

Chaeyoung stares at her in disbelief. She's unsure whether Dahyun is trying to get them off her back about Yeri, or she's really trying to push Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Either way, Chaeyoung is about to be bombarded by questions, and she wonders briefly if she can escape back to her room.

"Who?"

"Do we know her?"

"Aww, our little Chaeng Chaeng is all grown up"

Chaeyoung groans and buries her face in her hands. "I don't like anyone, I promise."

Jeongyeon hums, eyeing her critically. "We'll get it out of you someday."

Chaeyoung really hopes they don't. She settles with scowling and going towards the safety of Tzuyu. At least she wasn't asking Chaeyoung any ridiculous questions. Luckily, the girls don't prod anymore, and Chaeyoung rests her head against Tzuyu's shoulders in relief. Tzuyu wraps her arm around Chaeyoung tightly and doesn’t let go for the entire movie.

As they're getting ready for bed, Chaeyoung notices Tzuyu looking at her in the mirror. Chaeyoung quirks her eyebrows. "What?"

"You'd tell me if you were dating someone, right?"

"Of course I would, you're my best friend." There's a small pang in her chest, but she ignores it. "Really, I'm not dating Yeri though, if that's what you're thinking."

"Would you tell me if you liked someone," Tzuyu presses.

Chaeyoung frowns, wondering why Tzuyu seems so insistent on the matter. They've never really discussed things like that, partly because Chaeyoung spent half of high school secretly pining over Tzuyu, and partly because they just weren't really the type of people who would gush over that stuff. Tzuyu didn't even tell Chaeyoung Mingyu was someone she liked until she introduced him to their group one day as her boyfriend, and when Chaeyoung mentioned to Tzuyu she might've liked Mina, Tzuyu just nodded and said _ cool. _

So no, they didn't really delve into romantic topics much. That was more the expertise of Sana and Nayeon anyway.

"I mean, I would if you want me to," Chaeyoung finally says, trying to keep her expression nonchalant. She wonders if Tzuyu has started to suspect anything.

Tzuyu looks like she wants to say something else, but she purses her lips and nods instead.

Chaeyoung doesn't push it.

//

"You know," Chaeyoung says as they dump their suitcases on the floor of their apartment. "I love everyone and all, but I'm really glad to be back in the peace of our home."

"Me too." Tzuyu smiles, the soft one where her eyes crinkle at the corners. Chaeyoung isn't surprised at the way a rush of affection flows through her. She's gotten used to it by now.

Chaeyoung stares at their suitcases. They should probably unpack them. "Wanna order take-out and watch _ The Office_?"

"Yes, please."

//

Chaeyoung was trying hard not to fall asleep during her lecture when she gets a text. She glances at it, and when she sees Tzuyu's name flash across the screen, all thoughts about the lecture fly out the window. As far as she knows, Tzuyu's also in class, and she never texts in class, so this might be important.

**From: yoda  
** _Just wanted to let you know I won't be home for dinner :(_

**To: yoda  
** _what are you doing_

Tzuyu doesn't really go out much. She goes to whatever her unnies drag her to, and she studies in the library sometimes. She's shy though, and since she's intimidatingly beautiful, not many people try and befriend her.

It upsets Chaeyoung sometimes, because Tzuyu is so kind and deserves all the friends in the world, but when she asked Tzuyu about it, Tzuyu had just shrugged and said, "You're all I need."

Chaeyoung was left blushing the rest of the night.

Point is, Tzuyu rarely misses any meals, especially dinner. Dinner is _ their _time. They attempt to cook something that constitutes as a meal, talk about random things, and watch TV while eating. It's their time to unwind from a busy day.

It takes a while for Tzuyu to respond, but Chaeyoung is quick to read it anyway.

**From: yoda  
** _I'm getting ramen from this restaurant _

**To: yoda  
** _ok be safe and text when you're coming home_

Chaeyoung is glad Tzuyu is going out. She always feels bad leaving Tzuyu alone to go out to eat with friends, despite Tzuyu's reassurances that _ yes, it's alright _ and _ no, I'm sure I don't want to go. _

However, while she's at the apartment, missing Tzuyu's singing while they desperately try not to burn their dinner, Chaeyoung figures she can be a little selfish in wishing Tzuyu was there. It's only natural, considering they've been attached at the hip forever now.

She's in the middle of heating up leftover pizza when the door opens. Chaeyoung smiles and turns to greet her. She catches sight of someone behind Tzuyu and freezes, her greeting getting stuck in the back of her throat.

"Hi," Tzuyu says to her when they make eye-contact. She steps aside to allow Chaeyoung to get a better look at the boy standing outside the door. "Chaeyoung, this is Jungkook-ssi." She looks at him with a playful glare. "He insisted on walking me to the door."

Automatically, Chaeyoung puts a smile on her face and bows. "Hello, Jungkook-sii. It's nice to meet you."

He returns the bow. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

While he and Tzuyu talk, Chaeyoung eyes him carefully. He's good-looking. If she had seen him on the streets, she could've easily mistaken him for an idol, he was that handsome.

"Thank you for taking me for ramen, Jungkook-ssi," Tzuyu says.

"Thanks for coming. I hope you enjoyed it." He bows lowly, and Tzuyu returns the gesture.

Chaeyoung grimaces slightly, but hides it when Jungkook waves goodbye to her. She waits until Tzuyu closes the door to raise an eyebrow at her. "He was nice."

"Yeah."

"Ramen, huh?" Chaeyoung tries again. "Must be serious."

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "I barely know him yet."

Chaeyoung bites her lip at the 'yet' and hides it by grinning at Tzuyu. "I bet he'll ask you out again."

"We'll see." Tzuyu shrugs and steals a bite of Chaeyoung's pizza, ignoring her halfhearted protests. Chaeyoung tries to forget about it, but it stays in the back of her mind for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

Chaeyoung was right.

Jungkook asked Tzuyu out to bingsu in their next class together, and when they came back, they're not nearly as awkward as before. They're laughing and joking around together, and they've both dropped the honorifics. They agree to go out for sushi next time.

She's slightly annoyed at how quickly Tzuyu warms up to Jungkook, then she squashes that feeling down. It's good Tzuyu's going outside and laughing and doing something other than lounging around in their apartment, watching dramas.

Chaeyoung suddenly has more free time now, so she calls up Yeri and invites her over.

"So let me get this straight," Yeri says, making Chaeyoung snort at the choice of words. "She's been going on dates with Jeon Jungkook?"

"You know him?"

Yeri gives her a wry smile. "It's kinda hard not to. He's practically perfect, from what I've heard around campus. He's athletic, smart, hot, polite-"

Chaeyoung cuts her off. "You don't need to remind me. I've seen him."

"Anyway," Yeri continues, pouting at the interruption. "Lots of girls have had at least a tiny crush on him. He's pretty shy though, so I'm surprised he and Tzuyu are actually able to interact, considering he’s awkward with girls that look intimidating, and she looks like she wants to kill someone half the time.”

"It's only with you she looks like that." Chaeyoung still hasn't figured out why. Maybe Yeri is just that unlikeable.

"Jealous," Yeri mumbles under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing." Yeri smiles brightly, and Chaeyoung writes it off as Yeri being weird again.

"So, let's talk about something other than my non-existent love life," Chaeyoung suggests. "How's Saeron."

"We always talk about me and Saeron," Yeri whines, throwing her arms around Chaeyoung's neck. "Tell me all your bottled up feelings, I feel bad for making you listen about me all the time."

"It helps distract me."

"Well I refuse to talk right now. Unload your feelings on me." Yeri sprawls on Chaeyoung's lap, and Chaeyoung isn't even phased. She's already used to her friend's clingy behavior.

"It's just this dumb crush that won't go away. It's like...a cockroach."

"Not how I would describe a crush, but sure."

"Maybe Jungkook-ssi will be good for me. My subconscious will finally realize it's insane and never gonna happen, then my feelings for Tzuyu will disappear."

Yeri makes a face. "You're so pessimistic. Why can't there be a scenario where you confess to Tzuyu before she and Jungkook get out of hand and live happily ever after?"

"I'm not pessimistic, I'm realistic," Chaeyoung insists. "Tzuyu doesn't like me. We’re best friends, nothing more.”

"You never know until you try."

"Who are you? Dahyun?" Chaeyoung taps her nose, making Yeri’s face scrunch up. "I hate you sometimes."

"You love me."

The door opens, and Tzuyu walks in. Chaeyoung smiles and waves while Yeri bolts off of Chaeyoung's lap. Tzuyu eyes them both with pursed lips.

"Chaengie, Yeri." Tzuyu bows her head in a greeting before going straight to her room.

Chaeyoung watches her go in confusion. When the door shuts, she turns to Yeri. "Weird."

"You're honestly the most oblivious person I know, Chaeyoung-ah," Yeri mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Chaeyoung doesn't think about the comment. Yeri's just being weird again.

//

Chaeyoung looks over the edge of the rooftop, nursing her third bottle of beer. There's not many people here, especially compared to Jackson's usual parties, but she guesses he wants this to be more of a quiet event than a ‘_get wasted and dance all night’ _type of thing.

It was New Year's Eve, after all. It’s supposed to be special. 

Chaeyoung prefers it this way. The rooftop is calming, and the sight of city lights below her has her itching for a piece of paper and a pencil. She's this close to getting up to find some supplies when someone slips into the seat across from her. Chaeyoung looks up to see Yeri grinning at her. "Hey."

"Why you being so antisocial?" Yeri asks, gesturing around them. Everyone's either mingling among themselves, or slow-dancing with their partner. She spots Tzuyu and Jungkook together, and jealousy claws at her chest. She takes another sip of her beer to try and soothe the lump in her throat.

"I like the quiet," Chaeyoung says. She smiles dryly. "Plus, this seems more like a couples thing, and I'm forever single."

"I'm single too. And I'm not sitting in the corner, staring off the edge of the building like an angsty teen."

"Do I at least look cool while doing it?" Chaeyoung asks, ducking under the napkin Yeri throws at her.

"No," huffs Yeri.

Chaeyoung looks up to see Saeron staring at the pair. "Saeron's all alone at the bar. You should go talk to her."

Yeri glances behind her, looking torn. "You're all alone over here though."

"You're not trying to kiss me at midnight, are you?" Yeri visibly shudders at the thought. "I thought so. Go over there." She kicks Yeri's shin under the table.

"Yah," Yeri hisses with a pained expression. "Fine, I'm going. Honestly, I'm probably not even gonna kiss her at midnight. I keep messing things up."

"She's obviously into you, okay? Just kiss her, and then you'll have a cute story to tell about your guys' first kiss."

Yeri perks up at that. "You're sure you're okay?"

Chaeyoung nods and forces a smile. "Good luck. Fighting!"

Yeri heads over and sits in the unoccupied seat at the bar. The countdown starts, and Chaeyoung prays Yeri doesn't say something stupid, which is entirely possible. Saeron's laughing though, so it can't be that bad.

_ Twenty...nineteen...eighteen _

Chaeyoung realizes this is the first time she's doing the countdown alone. When she was a child, her parents were there. Middle school and high school, all her friends were by her side.

Tzuyu was with her for as long as they’ve known each other.

_ Seven...six...five _

Chaeyoung sighs and downs the rest of her drink.

_ Three...two...one! _

The fireworks explode and everyone's cheering, and when Chaeyoung looks over, Yeri's kissing Saeron firmly. She smiles to herself and goes to slip away. She didn't want to look too pathetic, sitting all alone during the fireworks in the midst of all the happy couples.

As she heads towards the door, she catches sight of Jungkook and Tzuyu kissing. She feels like someone punched her in the gut.

It was expected, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. She disappears down the stairs without telling Tzuyu she's going home because she knows Jungkook will take care of her. He's a good guy. He'll get her home safely.

Chaeyoung waves down a taxi, listing off her address in a monotone voice. The fireworks are still going off, and she can hear faint screaming over the radio, but Chaeyoung doesn't pay it any attention. She feels numb.

The taxi pulls up in front of the complex, and Chaeyoung shoves a wad of cash into his hands, muttering, "keep the change."

Her hands are shaking when she goes to put the key in the lock, and she doesn't know why. She knew this would happen. Jungkook basically had been courting Tzuyu for a month, taking her to fancy restaurants, and winning her a stuffed toy at an arcade, and taking her down to the Han River at night.

_ He's a good guy_, she repeats to herself. If anyone gets to date Tzuyu, it should be him.

She finally gets the door open, and she walks straight to the desk in her room. She digs around in the drawer and comes up with a folded piece of paper. Chaeyoung unfolds it and looks at the messy words she wrote a little more than half a year ago.

Chaeyoung was stupid. She didn't follow the rules, and she's paying the price. Even after she promised herself that Tzuyu came first, she could've kept some of the rules instead of completely disregarding them all. She got too comfortable.

Her phone buzzes, and her lock screen of Tzuyu, posing next to their snowman they made, lights up the room accusingly.

**From: yerm  
** _where r u_

**To: yerm  
** _home. don't worry about me. congrats btw_

She sets her phone down and sits at the desk, staring at the list she should've memorized when she wrote it.

_ Number 1: Distance yourself from them. _Well, she's broken that one.

_ Number 2: Remove them from your phone. _Also broke it.

_ Number 3: Stop talking to them and thinking about them. _Broke that too.

_ Number 4: Lean on your friends _

_ Number 5: Focus on yourself and your interests _

_ Number 6: Consider dating other people _

Those three, she didn't even try to start. She didn't need to since she wasn't exactly following the other rules.

She glances at her phone, wanting so badly to call Dahyun, but she couldn't do that to her. It was her and Sana's first New Year's together. Chaeyoung couldn't interrupt that.

Chaeyoung presses the heels of her hand into her eyes hard, trying to hold back the tears. She was so _ stupid _to ever think this crush on Tzuyu would have been so simple. She thought she could just wait it out without any problems, when Tzuyu was bound to get a boyfriend someday. 

This was always going to happen at some point.

"Idiot," she whispers to the empty room.

No one responds.

//

Chaeyoung wakes up to an empty apartment the next morning, six missed calls, and nine texts. Only one was from Tzuyu.

**From: yoda  
** _Sleeping over at Jungkook's tonight_

She promptly rushes to throw up in the toilet.

_ This sucks_, she thinks to herself while gripping the edge of the porcelain. She figures it's late enough for Dahyun to be awake and dials her number when she finishes washing the taste of vomit out of her mouth.

"You look like shit," Dahyun says when she picks up the phone.

"Hello to you too," Chaeyoung says, scowling.

"I called you last night."

"I saw."

"Yeri was worried."

"I guessed that from the four missed calls from her."

Dahyun looks at her in disapproval. "At least text her back now."

"Fine, mom." She makes a big show of sending the text. "Happy?"

"I could be better." Dahyun observes Chaeyoung's red, puffy eyes and dark circles under them. "How are you?"

"Peachy." She pauses. "You were right, you know." Dahyun is silent, and Chaeyoung takes it as a sign to keep going. "I'm still in love with her. I think I have been for a long time now, I just didn't want to acknowledge it."

Dahyun sucks in a breath. "It's good that you can now."

Chaeyoung laughs, a little broken and a little humorless. "Is it? I missed my chance. I'm sure Yeri told you."

"She's mentioned it, yeah. But I wanna hear it from you."

So Chaeyoung tells her everything. She starts from the beginning, when she first saw Tzuyu as the lonely foreign student who could barely speak any Korean. She recounts the quickly developing friendship and the pining in high school. She tells her of burying her feelings until she was unaware of them for the next year, and how she could no longer ignore them while they lived together.

Judging from Dahyun's expression, she knew bits and pieces of this, but Chaeyoung never told her how much she actually feels for Chou Tzuyu.

"So what are you gonna do now, Chaeng?" Dahyun whispers softly, her words the exact same from when they wrote the rules, but her tone entirely different.

Chaeyoung looks down at the list, and her heart aches. "Follow the rules."

//

She has a plan this time.

Don't abruptly disappear. She needs to slowly increase her time spent away from the apartment so Tzuyu doesn't notice. She can't afford for Tzuyu to have another breakdown about it. At least she has Jungkook to distract her from Chaeyoung's absences.

Minimal texting with her. Chaeyoung has this habit of sending Tzuyu memes or cute videos of puppies during class to make her laugh. She needs to keep it strictly informational now, only texting Tzuyu when need be. She also switches her wallpaper.

Stay grounded to reality. She can't let her mind wander to what ifs or fantasies because Tzuyu is dating Jungkook now. It's never going to happen.

Focus on her hobbies more. She can't think about Tzuyu when she's busy playing music or drawing. Well, it's easier not to think of her, anyway. She tries not to notice the way Tzuyu somehow bleeds into every song she writes.

She notices Yeri's worried glances every now and then, and Dahyun's more frequent texts. She ignores them though, and she thinks she's getting pretty good at the whole hiding and ignoring things in general.

"Hey, Chaengie," Tzuyu says when Chaeyoung walks in, and hearing the familiar nickname makes her head spin.

"Hey. How was your date?" Chaeyoung asks. What better way to stay grounded to reality than to ask Tzuyu about their dates constantly?

Tzuyu shrugs and pops a strawberry in her mouth. "We went hiking on this beautiful trail. You would've liked it."

"Maybe I'll go there later," Chaeyoung says. She's been wanting to do a landscape painting for a while now.

"I'll take you sometime."

She hums absentmindedly. "Sure. I'm gonna go out for dinner, okay?"

Tzuyu frowns, and Chaeyoung knows it's because this is the third dinner in a row Chaeyoung is missing out on. She's started missing them more frequently, however, she's easing into it. A missed dinner here, two skipped dinners there. This is her first time trying three, and Chaeyoung hopes Tzuyu doesn't pick up on it.

"Okay. What for?"

Chaeyoung bites her lip, the sting helping her keep her composure. "I'm going out to eat with this girl from my calculus class."

"Oh," Tzuyu says, her brows knitting together. "Is this the same girl Dahyun was talking about at Christmas?"

Chaeyoung knows she's treading in dangerous territory, and she should probably lie to Tzuyu and say yes. But she's been lying to Tzuyu for years, even more so over the past couple weeks. She decides to tell the truth, or at least a small portion of it.

"No," she responds, carefully choosing her next words. "The girl I liked didn't like me back. I figured I should try and go out with someone else."

"Yeri is with Saeron now," Tzuyu observes, and Chaeyoung laughs because of how off Tzuyu still is, even though it's all right in front of her.

"It wasn't Yeri. It...it doesn't matter now."

Tzuyu walks forward and wraps her arms around her, and Chaeyoung lets herself have this one moment. She's enveloped in Tzuyu's perfume and warmth, and Chaeyoung wants to cry because no matter what, Tzuyu’s still the same calming presence that’s been consistent through her teenage years. She’s the same person that made Chaeyoung fall in love with her in the first place.

The thought makes her jerk backwards away from the hug. "Um, I should probably go."

Tzuyu schools her hurt expression into a blank face. She pauses, then nods. "Okay, text me when you start coming home."

Chaeyoung feels like someone punched her in the gut again, like when she saw Jungkook and Tzuyu on New Year’s. Tzuyu is her home and has been for a while now. 

"I'll see you later."

//

Somi is a great girl, but Chaeyoung doesn't invite her for a second date. She doesn't invite Chaeyoung either.

Chaeyoung comes back to the apartment to find Tzuyu and Jungkook cuddling on the couch, watching some random Disney movie. Her heart drops, and she says a quick greeting before leaving as quickly as possible. She finds herself standing at the park, and she walks around until her feet ache and her face is numb from the cold.

The sight of Jungkook and Tzuyu is burned into her mind. It wasn't even bad. They were just cuddling, for god's sake. She has to be prepared for worse things. The image of Jungkook kissing Tzuyu from New Year's pops up, and Chaeyoung hates the way her jealousy crawls up her throat, ugly and powerful. Her nails bite into her palms.

People are giving her strange looks, probably because they're wondering why Chaeyoung is only wearing a thin sweater and high heels to walk outside when it's so cold out. She rubs her hands together, trying to stay a little warm and cursing herself for not grabbing her coat or practical shoes on the way out.

"Stupid," she mutters, kicking a pebble across the sidewalk, both for not getting something warmer and for falling for her best friend.

Chaeyoung stays outside for as long as she can bear before heading home and hoping Jungkook and Tzuyu are still only cuddling. When she walks in, Jungkook is gone and Tzuyu is cleaning up the coffee table.

"Chaeng?" Tzuyu says, frowning when she sees Chaeyoung’s bright red cheeks and hunched over posture. She rushes over and places the back of her hand on Chaeyoung's cheek. "You're freezing!" She leads Chaeyoung over to the couch and places a blanket on her.

"Thanks," she mumbles as Tzuyu takes the shorter girl's hands in between her own. It reminds her of Christmas, when everything seemed so much easier.

"Why'd you go out without a coat?"

Chaeyoung shrugs. "Must've slipped my mind."

"You need to take better care of yourself." Tzuyu's hands move to cradle Chaeyoung's face. Her fingers are soft and warm, and she's staring at Chaeyoung with her dark eyes. Chaeyoung swallows thickly. She needs to get out of here before she does something stupid.

"I probably should take a shower," she says, breaking the eye contact and shifting around to get the blankets off of her.

She all but flees the room once she's free of the many blankets, leaving the awkward air between her and Tzuyu behind and pushing it to the back of her mind.

She’s always been good at ignoring things.

//

Chaeyoung is wholly prepared to spend Valentine’s Day alone in her apartment, eating a tub of ice cream, drinking her expensive bottle of wine, and watching dramas in her sweatpants.

She doesn’t expect Tzuyu to walk through the door when she’s supposed to be out on a disgustingly romantic date and giving Jungkook overpriced chocolates.

Chaeyoung freezes, the spoon still in her mouth. “Hi?”

“Hey,” Tzuyu says.

“What are you doing back here?” Chaeyoung carefully asks when Tzuyu doesn’t move from her place by the door.

“We broke up.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes snap up to meet Tzuyu’s. She’s not crying, thank god, and she doesn’t seem too upset, but Chaeyoung isn’t entirely sure. Tzuyu’s always been good at hiding her feelings. She offers Tzuyu her glass of wine and pats the space next to her. “Do you wanna talk about it?

Tzuyu shakes her head, taking the wine gratefully and steals half of the blanket. “Can we just watch this together?”

Chaeyoung sucks in a breath. Her mind is screaming at her, telling her not to break the rules. She’ll just be making things harder on herself in the long run. She should just make up an excuse to leave for the night.

But Chaeyoung also knows that Tzuyu comes first always, and her personal feelings don’t matter if Tzuyu is hurting. So she nods and doesn’t move when Tzuyu leans on her shoulder.

Her mind is racing throughout the entire episode, processing Tzuyu’s breakup. Tzuyu is completely still next to her, and Chaeyoung thinks she’s asleep until Tzuyu leans forward to pour herself another glass of wine and steal some ice cream.

“Chaeyoung, you never did tell me how your date with Somi went,” Tzuyu asks halfway through their second episode. 

“She was nice, but I don’t think we’re going on a second one.”

Tzuyu frowns. “Why not?”

“I dunno.” _I’m in love with you, maybe? _“Just didn’t feel the spark, I guess.”

“Her loss, she’s missing out.” Tzuyu says. Chaeyoung almost laughs out loud at the irony. 

“Yeah, I’m a real catch,” she says wryly, gesturing at her sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt. 

“I’m serious. Anyone would be lucky to date you. You’re kind and funny and smart and _ hot- _”

“You’re required to say that though, by the laws of best friends,” Chaeyoung interrupts, trying not to focus on the fact that Tzuyu called her hot.

“I’m not saying this because I’m your best friend.” Tzuyu sits up, staring at her with a fiery expression, and Chaeyoung suddenly feels like the air between them has shifted. They have a short, intense stare-off.

Chaeyoung squirms, unsure of what to do because the rules didn’t prepare her for this. They didn’t say what happens when Tzuyu breaks up with her boyfriend, and they sure as hell didn’t include anything about Tzuyu starting to lean in towards her. The faint smell of wine permeates the air the closer they get together. 

“Tzuyu.” Chaeyoung leans back, creating more distance between them. Her heart is pounding, and it takes all of her willpower not to close the distance and meet Tzuyu in the middle.

Tzuyu’s eyes snap open, and she retreats quickly. “Chaeng-“

Chaeyoung jumps up from the couch quickly, cutting off whatever she was going to say. “I, um, think you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

“Chaeng,” Tzuyu says again. She’s staring at her, and Chaeyoung can barely make out her features in the dim light of the TV. She doesn’t think she wants to see the look on Tzuyu’s face anyway.

“I‘ll be...“ She gestures towards the door in short, jerky motions. “you know.”

Tzuyu doesn’t stop her.

//

Chaeyoung finds herself at the park again.

The air is cool, and she’s glad she has practical clothing and shoes on this time. It’s mostly empty, and she figures it’s because everyone’s probably enjoying dinner with their significant other right now. Aside from a small family of three, a teenage boy and girl, and an old woman walking her dog, Chaeyoung is the only one there.

She sits on a park bench far away from everyone else and thinks of what to do.

Tzuyu obviously isn’t in her right mind. She’s just gone through a breakup and she’s feeling lonely. Paired with the alcohol-induced courage, Tzuyu made a rash decision.

Chaeyoung didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of kissing her best friend, who she’s quietly loved for years, then treating it as a mistake Tzuyu made in the heat of the moment.

She couldn’t. 

_ Stick to the plan. Follow the rules. _

She sneaks back into the apartment a little less than an hour later. Tzuyu is already in her room. 

Her door is shut, and Chaeyoung doesn’t want to think of the implications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. One more chapter to go


	5. Chapter 5

When Chaeyoung wakes up, Tzuyu’s still in her room. She is pretty sure it’s the first time she’s up before Tzuyu during the time that they’ve lived together. The apartment is quiet and lonely even though Tzuyu’s only a door away, and Chaeyoung feels like it’s a metaphor for her life currently.

She grabs her backpack, fully prepared to spend the day in the library and avoid the upcoming awkward conversation with Tzuyu for as long as possible, but when she’s putting her shoes on, Tzuyu’s door opens.

“Chaeyoung-ah?” Tzuyu says, her voice quiet and hesitant.

Chaeyoung is caught off guard. She expected to postpone this conversation by at least a few more hours, and she has not prepared at all for this. “Hey. I was just going to the library.”

Tzuyu opens her door wider. “Can we talk about last night?”

“We really don’t need to.” Chaeyoung avoids her eyes, choosing to stare at her shoes instead. “You were drunk, I understand.”

“But-“

“Can we just forget about it? It’s not a big deal, really.”

Tzuyu looks like she wants to say more, but she just purses her lips. “Fine. Have fun at the library.” She retreats back into her room, and the sound of the door shutting seems to echo around the empty room. 

_ Follow the rules. _ Chaeyoung takes one last glance at Tzuyu’s door before leaving. 

True to her word, she spends the entire day in the library, only leaving to grab some lunch and go to the bathroom. Chaeyoung wishes she could say she got a lot of work done, but she’d be lying.

It’s late when she starts to head back, and she has a sense of déjà vu. She half-expects Tzuyu to be on the couch waiting for her when Chaeyoung gets home. She’s scared of the answer. Tzuyu isn’t there though when she comes home, and Chaeyoung doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

The apartment is strangely clean. The couch, which always has an ungodly amount of blankets and pillows, is completely bare aside from the decorative pillows. Tzuyu’s shoes, which are usually lined up at the door neatly, are gone. There’s no scattered notes and homework spread across the table or indigo coffee mug filled with hot chocolate.

She almost thinks Tzuyu left the apartment for the night, but when she strains her ears, she can hear faint music coming from Tzuyu’s room.

Chaeyoung takes one last look at the apartment which no longer contains the charming mix of signs that both of them live there, and she feels her heart clench tightly. She retreats to her room without telling Tzuyu she’s home.

//

“Chaeng, no offense, but you’re stupid.”

Chaeyoung frowns at Dahyun. “Offense taken. Rude.”

“You really think Tzuyu wants you as a _ rebound_?”

“She just broke up with Jungkook“

“If Tzuyu tried to kiss you, that means she wanted to kiss you. She’s not one to do things spontaneously.”

“Well, she was drunk-“

“You said she had two glasses. I’ve seen your wine glasses, they’re tiny.”

“Tzuyu’s a lightweight, everyone knows that.”

“I think you’re making up excuses,” Dahyun says firmly. “You’ve gotten so caught up in the idea that Tzuyu won’t ever love you back, you’re not thinking straight about this entire situation.”

Chaeyoung huffs, crossing her arms. “What makes you think you’re so right then.”

“I’ve told you before. You can’t lie with your eyes, and Tzuyu’s eyes say she loves you. You should’ve seen her at Christmas. Her heart-eye game was strong.”

“And then Jungkook came into the picture literally days after Christmas.”

“Please. I asked her about Jungkook a few days before the breakup. She said two sentences about him before delving into a lengthy discussion on the possibilities of why you’re avoiding her again.” 

Well, turns out Chaeyoung wasn’t as subtle as she previously thought. 

“I wasn’t entirely sure until that talk. She was so worried about you, Chaeng. There’s no way she doesn’t feel the same way.” Dahyun waves her arms around to emphasize her point. “Go talk to her.”

“I don’t know if I can.” 

Dahyun seems so sure Tzuyu feels the same way, but there’s a slim chance she’s completely wrong and Chaeyoung will confess and freak Tzuyu out. Just the thought of risking everything makes her feel like she’s gonna throw up. 

“You’ve been avoiding Tzuyu for what, four days? You’ve been in love with her for nearly four _ years_. Tell her.”

“I don’t want to ruin anything”

Dahyun raises her eyebrows, her expression sad. “You think avoiding her hasn't ruined it already?”

//

Chaeyoung’s heart hammers in her chest as she walks up to the door of their apartment. She wants to turn and run, but Dahyun’s final words echo in her mind. She pushes open the door. Tzuyu’s sitting at the table, reading her textbook.

“Chaeng,” Tzuyu says, surprise lacing her voice. She shoves her books in her backpack hurriedly. “Sorry.”

Chaeyoung grabs Tzuyu’s wrist before she can leave for her room. “Can we talk? Please?”

Tzuyu bites her lip. Up close, Chaeyoung can see the dark rings under Tzuyu’s eyes. She hasn’t been sleeping, and Chaeyoung feels her chest constrict. This is her fault.

“I’ve been trying to give you space,” Tzuyu confesses quietly, not meeting Chaeyoung’s eyes. “That’s what you want, right?”

“No,” Chaeyoung says, her voice nearly a whisper. She never wanted any of this. 

“Well, can you tell me what you do want then?” Tzuyu chuckles, but it’s low and flat. 

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath and grabs Tzuyu’s hands. _ Tell her. Be honest. _“I’ve been in love with you since we were sixteen.”

She looks away, avoiding Tzuyu’s face. It feels weird to admit it out loud, and even weirder to say it to Tzuyu after years of hiding it.

She’s _ terrified_.

“Chaeng-“

“Please.” Her voice is small. “And I thought I was over you, but you asked me to live with you, and I said yes. Then you started to date Jungkook, and I realized I never truly stopped loving you like I had thought.”

She laughs wryly. “You broke up with him and tried to kiss me the same night. If you kissed me and regretted it, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes again, so I ran to protect our friendship. But running broke it even more, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I know this is going to change everything, but everything is changing anyways, and I think being honest is the best way to go.”

She’s still staring at the ground, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She wonders if Tzuyu can hear it. 

“Chaengie, please look at me.” Tzuyu’s hands come up to cradle her face, and she tilts Chaeyoung’s face up. Tzuyu’s eyes are fierce and honest. “I broke up with Jungkook because I love you.”

Chaeyoung suddenly can’t breathe. “What?”

“You-” Tzuyu closes her mouth with a frustrated sigh. “Can I kiss you?”

Something in her voice makes Chaeyoung nod her head, despite her fear that nothing will ever be the same if this happens.

When Tzuyu kisses her, there’s no fireworks like all the cliches led Chaeyoung to believe.

It’s so much better. It feels like Chaeyoung is finally home, here in Tzuyu’s arms, kissing her. Chaeyoung grips Tzuyu’s shirt tightly, the soft material bunching up between her fingers. Tzuyu’s lips are firm and insistent, and Chaeyoung never wants this moment to end.

Tzuyu breaks the kiss first, and she leans her forehead against Chaeyoung’s, still cradling Chaeyoung’s jaw. They give themselves a moment to breathe.

“Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung whispers, awe evident in her voice. “Please tell me this wasn’t a one-time thing.”

She couldn’t handle going back to pretending everything is normal after that kiss. She can’t go back to being _ just _ Tzuyu’s best friend. 

“You’re so dumb, Son Chaeyoung,” Tzuyu mutters. “I love you, why is that so hard to believe?”

Chaeyoung has spent almost four years of her life pushing away her feelings, thinking Tzuyu wouldn’t return her feelings and being scared of losing her. It takes all the courage she has to stand on her tiptoes and press another kiss to Tzuyu’s lips, trying to convey the whirlwind of emotions currently rushing through her right now.

“I love you,” Chaeyoung repeats to herself, trying to sink in the fact that she said it to Tzuyu, and Tzuyu said it back. “I’ve loved you for so long.”

“I love you too.” Tzuyu pulls Chaeyoung into a hug, unwilling to let her go. “And we’ll figure everything out together.”

It doesn’t feel like a new beginning, exactly. If Chaeyoung had to describe it, she’d say it’s more like taking the next step they were always supposed to take.

It feels right.

//

“Chaeyoung-ah, are you ready to go?”

Chaeyoung runs around her room and throws on a random sweatshirt while trying to slip on her shoes at the same time. She’s fairly sure they’re running late, and Nayeon will give them hell when they show up.

“Shit,” she mutters to herself, halfway out the door when she realizes she’s forgetting something. She rushes to her desk and grabs a small piece of paper, shoving it in her pocket before going to the kitchen-slash-living room.

Her panic is forgotten when Tzuyu leans down and presses a quick kiss to her lips. “I like your sweatshirt.”

Chaeyoung looks down and rolls her eyes when she figures out she somehow managed to grab one of Tzuyu’s sweatshirts. This is the third time this week. Luckily, this one didn’t have Tzuyu’s name on it, or her friends would never let her live it down. She silences Tzuyu’s laughs with another kiss.

“Should we go?” Chaeyoung asks, resisting the urge to say _ screw it _ and ditch their friends.

“Probably.” Tzuyu grins and laces their hands together. The entire drive to Mina’s house, they don’t let go. They have four years to make up for, after all.

When they get there, Jihyo is trying to light the large pile of firewood in the front of the house while Jeongyeon and Sana encourage her from the side. Nayeon lazes around in a chair. Mina currently is barbequing hamburgers while Dahyun learns some weird dance from Momo.

“Look who decided to show up,” Nayeon says when the two of them get out of the car.

Tzuyu shrugs at Nayeon. “Chaeng had to promise to buy me dinner for the next month to get me to come and hang out with you.”

Nayeon throws a twig at Tzuyu with a scowl. “Show your elders some respect.”

“Yes, _ halmeoni_.”

Nayeon gasps like she had been shot. “Jeong, do you hear this kid? The nerve!”

“She’s been hanging out with Chaeng too much.”

Chaeyoung maturely sticks her tongue out in response.

“Jihyo’s created fire!” Momo exclaims before Nayeon can get up from her chair and tackle the maknaes. “Thank god for Jihyo.”

“Yes!” Jihyo starts jumping up and down by the firepit, and if Chaeyoung didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought Jihyo was doing some kind of ritualistic dance. Actually, on second thought, she might be doing a ritualistic dance. Jihyo has to get all her power from somewhere, after all.

“Fuck school!” Jihyo shouts, throwing a large pile of paper into the fire. It’s obvious she’s been waiting to do this for a long time, and Chaeyoung figures all that stress from going to the most competitive university in Korea builds up. Momo cheers and throws her own pile of papers in. Everyone else starts to chuck in their various useless papers from school, laughing as the reality of summer break finally starts to set in.

Chaeyoung’s eyes automatically find Tzuyu. Her face is bathed in the warm glow of the fire, and she’s smiling softly at the laughter of their friends. Chaeyoung wants to preserve this moment in time forever to look back on it later. She’s still in awe that Tzuyu loves her, that Tzuyu wants to date her.

“Are you gonna throw anything in?” Tzuyu asks, rubbing over the knuckles of Chaeyoung’s hand with her thumb.

Chaeyoung reaches into her pocket and feels the paper inside of it. “Just one thing.”

There must be something in her face that indicates how important this is for Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu notices it. She nudges Chaeyoung’s leg with her foot. “Go on. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Chaeyoung blushes because the campfire was ten feet, tops, away from where they’re sitting, yet Tzuyu still reassured her she’ll be there for Chaeyoung. She leans over and pecks Tzuyu’s cheek, ignoring the teasing of their friends. “I’ll be right back.”

She goes to stand next to Dahyun, who elbows Sana not-so-discreetly. Thankfully, Sana gets the message and goes to the other side of the fire to talk to Mina and Momo. Not without kissing Dahyun’s forehead first, making her blush like crazy.

Chaeyoung takes out the piece of paper from the pocket of Tzuyu’s sweatshirt and unfolds it. She doesn’t feel her gut clench at the sight of the list like it used to. It’s been ten months since she wrote this list with Dahyun. She’s been dating Tzuyu for three months now.

“Dahyun-unnie, thanks for helping me make this list.” She looks down at the six rules for the last time. “But I don’t think I’ll need it anymore.”

Chaeyoung tosses the piece of paper in the fire and watches it crumple into itself before turning to ash. 

She feels lighter. She feels _ free_.

Dahyun smiles at her, a proud glint in her eye. “I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.” She pulls Chaeyoung into a brief, tight hug, and Chaeyoung is glad she has someone like Dahyun in her life. She looks around the circle of chairs at all her friends faces. She’s glad she has all of them in her life.

When she sits back down, she grabs Tzuyu’s hand and brings the taller girl’s knuckles to her lips, almost reverently. “I love you, Tzuyu-ya.”

Tzuyu pulls her hand away gently and uses it to lift Chaeyoung’s chin towards her. “I love you too, Chaeng.”

Tzuyu kisses her gently, and Chaeyoung will never get tired of kissing her. She could do this for the rest of her life and die happy.

“Gay,” someone shouts across the fire. They both turn and glare Jeongyeon, who hides behind Nayeon. Chaeyoung flicks her off and settles into Tzuyu’s side, staring into the fire where she burned the six ways to get over her crush on her current girlfriend (with pictures).

Chaeyoung admits she’s completely in love with Chou Tzuyu. She just isn’t scared of it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @softchaeyuhours so we can talk about Twice, chaeyu, and anything else! I'm currently working on two other chaeyu stories (a post-disbandment one and a hogwarts au) so keep an eye out for those please. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cmDD88lDoSE


End file.
